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Depression better or worse when alone?


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I was just wondering about peoples' experiences -- is your depression better when you're alone or when you're with people?

My first depressive episode I liked to be alone, but now it seems that I am less depressed when I'm around people (although I don't always want to be around them). Being with my family or talking to a friend eases the pain. But I have atypical depression, so maybe this is normal? I'm not sure. Sometimes I feel exhausted around other people but often I feel a bit better...

Just wondering about everyones' experiences.

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My depression is better / easier to deal with when I'm around people. I think because I'm distracted. But, I also think over the years I've learned to hide the depression and fake happiness, which takes a lot of energy and focus. So it's like my mind is working too hard around people to be able to deal with the depression. If that makes any sense at all.

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It really can go either way with me. It depends on how fucked I am too. If I can't compose myself to be around people, then I'm better off alone. Sometimes, however it helps to be around people because I have to fake being happy. While this doesn't actually MAKE me happy, it kind of helps to take my mind off the shit that's depressing me because I'm using my energy to do something other than wallow in depression. I don't know, I hope that made sense.

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When I'm alone I can be happy, when I'm with people not so much. I guess when I'm with people i don't really get depressed though, often times right after, but not because I miss them, just because I finally let myself think about it. I tend to bounce back pretty quickly though, alone feels much better.

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A little bit of time with others when I'm depressed (like a short evening) is okay, but beyond that it's too exhausting. The last time I was depressed I had house guests a couple of times, none of which stayed more than three days, but it nearly killed me to deal with having people around that much. I live alone with two cats, though, so I'm used to me, myself, and I.

Even now that I'm well and vigilantly guarding my mood, I find that I still need a lot of down time on my own. Actually, a 40 to 50 hour work week, and maybe dinner with a few friends on the weekend, seems a good range for me. There are weekends where I don't see anyone (other than a store clerk or something), and it suits me fine. I'm not sure if that's part of a mood disorder or if I'm just a natural recluse.

When I worked in Iraq and we were with people day and night, everyone else was missing their families, and I was going crazy with having to eat every meal in a crowd.

Having said all that, I do feel the societal stigma of being alone, even though I like it just fine. In the part of the country I currently live in, all 50 year old women should be married, and if they're not, they should be at church looking for a husband. Or at least that's the undercurrent I feel sometimes.

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A little bit of time with others when I'm depressed (like a short evening) is okay, but beyond that it's too exhausting. The last time I was depressed I had house guests a couple of times, none of which stayed more than three days, but it nearly killed me to deal with having people around that much. I live alone with two cats, though, so I'm used to me, myself, and I.

I am another who cannot stand to live with others.

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I'm pretty asocial. I can tolerate being around people for up to 1 hour per day. Then I need a lot of recovery time because it's exhausting and draining and not fun. I can go for many months without talking to anyone and be happy as a clam.

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I pretty much would love to be alone but I know that its horrible for me. like some people said being around others and socializing is a good distraction. if I am really really deep into the depression then making the effort to even say hi to people is painful and being alone is probably the best thing I could do. for me it really depends on how strong the depression is and who I am around. if I am depressed I dont want to tell anybody about it because I hate when people try to cheer me up. haha I know that sounds awful but if I am around people who know I am depressed in that moment and try to talk to me about it, I cant keep up the conversation for long because it makes me think about it more.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I pretty much would love to be alone but I know that its horrible for me. like some people said being around others and socializing is a good distraction. if I am really really deep into the depression then making the effort to even say hi to people is painful and being alone is probably the best thing I could do. for me it really depends on how strong the depression is and who I am around. if I am depressed I dont want to tell anybody about it because I hate when people try to cheer me up. haha I know that sounds awful but if I am around people who know I am depressed in that moment and try to talk to me about it, I cant keep up the conversation for long because it makes me think about it more.

I relate to everything you said Annabelle!

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For me it varies. Sometimes, I cling to people, and other times I just can't stand to be around them. Often, I start by wanting to be with people, and then quickly just grow tired of having to be social. I'm not that good at socialising, so I have to try quite hard.

I think that my desire to be around people can probably be attributed to my BPD as well, though, but because of the lack of motivation that comes from my depression, I'm quick to tire and then I just sort of fade away and hide in a corner and "be depressed" (though this can also be considered as me seeking attention, so that people see that I'm miserable and try to comfort me).

Sorry if that didn't make much sense.

N

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