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When I first had a psychotic break, I ran from my parents. I felt like there was a small child in me, pulling my adult self. I couldn't speak, but I could write. I felt like I was 2 people in one body.

I've dissociated where I could see myself from above, but this is slightly different because I wasn't separate.

I only told one professional about this, a tdoc. He seemed interested and asked how old the child was and I told him around 5 or 6. I could feel them at about my belly level. I told my sister and she said that's what bipolar is like, before I was dx.

I think it's a delusion of some sort, but I don't know what. There is another post about somatic delusions and I thought maybe that was it, but when I googled it said more about thinking there is something wrong medically, like you have skin parasites. But, that's what made me think of it.

I once thought I had DID because that's what messages I received told me, but I don't have any symptoms. I don't lose time or anything.

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how long was it before you returned to your parents? it does sound like a dissociative experience. what was going on at home when you ran? i'm wondering if there was a triggering event. not traumatizing per se, but something that triggers extreme emotion (like i can't stand when people are angry and yelling at each other, unless i know it won't escalate). i can't speak to how it would relate to psychosis however, maybe someone else can be of help.

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This happened when I was 39. My parents decided I shouldn't be around my kids after I had a psychotic break so they and my husband agreed that they should take me from Southern to Northern California where they live. On the trip I was writing to my mother. At one point she told me to stop and I started getting scared they were going to keep me away from my family forever. So, when we stopped at one point, I refused to get back in the car. Then I ran to a mini-mart and had them call the police to keep my parents away from me. The police came and took me to a county mental hospital.

When I was running I felt like it wasn't me. That I was just going along. like I was being told what to write.

I don't want to get myself going in circles trying to make sense of delusions that don't make sense. There are just so many things that I thought were unique to me that I've found out are more common, I thought maybe someone could relate.

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