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I was in a hypomanic state and a friend who doesnt approve of me being on lithium told me that it was nice having me back, even when i told her it probably meant my medication wasn't working. I felt like being who I am, boring, not hypomanic me, isnt good enough. I have told her lithium made me feel so much better but she said it made me a zombie. i;m confused. do i listen to what others say, was it doing too much or do i listen to how i feel, which is relief that i didnt FEEL so much all the time. maybe it did make me a zombie. but it hurt to hear, someone knowing i';m probably unhealthy happy to have me back. and i dont know what to do about the lithium not working. it's supposed to work.

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I have the sense that your friend doesn't see the big picture of what's medically happening when you're in hypomania, and that your hypomania, though "fun" perhaps for her, is actually not such a good thing for you

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My friends and co workers love me when I'm manic because I have so much energy I get multiple things done at one time. When I try to explain what it does to me they just don't understand. My boss sometimes will send me home if I take my meds because they make me to zombieish. Im sorry that your friend feels this way but if your meds work for you thats great!

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Evening ahalo-we who are bipolar know all too well that people that we know, that we do not know very well, just do not get what the manic trip is like. Beware of the hypomania for it can quickly escalate-at least it has for me. Yes the energy can feel good and

friends like what they see. We know how debilitating it is and often the intense depressions that follow.Might be good to have your blood level checked.

You know the truth. We are here.

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it really sucks that this seems to happen a lot. my friends really prefer me to be hypo too, and hell why not? i'm social, i'm talkative, i'm spontaneous, i'm energetic, i dance, i laugh a lot... it's taking them time to learn NOT to celebrate my being in this state. over time, they're learning that if lysergia feels really really good for awhile, something bad is going to follow and it will probably stop me from seeing them at all for a long time. they're also learning i do things i'm sorry for later. it seems funny at the time to watch me spend a bunch of money on a great idea or drink wine every night. it's not fun to watch me cry later that i can't afford to replace the money.

they don't understand being bipolar at all. they just say "that's lysergia", and leave it at that. no disrespect, but no real efforts to learn about the disorder. as long as they can accept this is part of being friends with me, that's all i can ask for.

if someone refuses to "get it" or challenges me that there's nothing wrong a good kick in the ass won't fix, they aren't my friend and they will certainly never be close enough to me to know anything at all.

i'd rather have very few friends that respect me than handfuls that don't.

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I am no longer friends with a few people (all part of the same "clique") who kept telling me they liked me better while hypo. Even when I complained about how I didn't feel right, and wasn't enjoying it. "Oh, but you are so much fun when you are like this! You are so funny!" and "You just aren't used to feeling well, and *think* there is something wrong." Yes, but you aren't the one who gets to tell me when I do and I don't feel well, you stupid self-centered BITCH!!!! :wall:

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I think now she's seeing the flip side so she's understanding every rose has its thorn. I'm more of a zombie depressed than I am on the meds. This time I didnt isolate when I got depressed because I needed her to see what its like. Needless to say she hasnt been objecting when i talk about there being an increase in my lithium next week. I hope I can learn to be an acceptable person on lithium, a good friend. it's just hard to get treatment when youre almost 35 years old for the first time.

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I think your Lithium may have been too high and now is too low. That's based on the levels you've cited elsewhere and how you described yourself. It would be nice if that were it since it'd be an easy problem to solve.

You can't teach yourself to be an acceptable person on meds. You are who you are and if your meds are right, that's it. Well,, people can change, but changing to make others happy instead of yourself isn't always the best way to live your life. Anyway, it's more about having friends that accept you for you, which your friend probably will do.

Thirty-five isn't too late for a diagnosis. It just takes a little longer to refocus. Do you have a good therapist that can help you recognize and accept bipolar in your life?

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Yes I have a new therapist and he's been helpful so far. I think logically I understand a lot of things but it's still hard in my heart to accept them. I still envy the "normal" people or the ones who had the capacity to create the "normal" looking lives and have families and the things I wanted all my life but at this age have to let go of. So those are things I need to work on. Defining what I want now out of life, redefining, is not easy. So I have someone to help me do that. I don't have a whole lot of friends because I have done so much isolating in my life and shutting people out eventually there weren't many left to choose from, or I didn't want to put people through it. Now I just want to figure out how to be someone that people don't have to endure.

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for the record, i dont think any med made me a zombie, i just don't get "goofy" like i did in my hypomanic states and that is a part of me that people probably do miss. It's a part of me I miss. So I feel a little like my range of emotion has changed. It obviously has. i also don't get as freakin emotional. I can be emotional but not at the drop of a hat. The 1.1 was right before a nervous breakdown "" when I went into the hospital, I hadn't been eating or taking care of myself at the time. IDK what a healthy level would be at 1200mg.

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