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Accepting and not reassurence!


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Not reassurence because I know that I or anybody else will ever be able to convince me that my theme isn't real. I have to accept the anxiety and the theme. Fear that one is dead. I can't drown out my OCD with facts, that only feeds the disorder. Instead I have to ignore the questions my mind ask's me like, ARe you dead? Are you at the Judgment? You would say well I see my car and my friends are here and that is the endless cycle of OCD. Instead I have to just not answer the question and go on about my day. It's hard at first but then it gets easier. OCD is a tricky fear/anxiety disorder that preys on your worst fears. I'm having one of those days. And the Klonopin isn't even helping. I guess I got to try to wean off this stuff and take it as needed.

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Ah this sux bad. I mean the Klonopin was the only thing that kept it in check and now it has pooped out on me. IDK guys I guess coming here is fine. I mean I know I'm not dead. but to get over the thought that I could be is was so scary. I wished I never had this illness but I know things will never be the same so that is where acceptence comes in. AH I hate this.

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