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I've noticed lately I've become more confident and happier but also more aggressive and having more intrusive thoughts about beating the living shit out of people who annoy me. LOL I have even tried to rationalize why serving a life sentence wouldn't be so bad for the satisfaction of offing my ex. No intentions, of course, just happy thoughts. LOL Is this part of BPD or is the Seroquel just not doing it's job anymore?

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It's normal to have thoughts of hurting others when they make you angry, to some degree, even sane people have those thoughts. The degree to which they affect you and the intensity of them is what makes them a symptom of mental ill health and not a normal range of thought and feeling. Anger and acted out aggression are two very different things. I'd hazard a guess that the more involved in life and assertive you are, the more you'll run up against things which make you angry and bring on these thoughts. Whether they are intrusive or distressing is something you'd need to think about.

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Like Titania said, there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being angry - it's acting it out that gets you into trouble. That said, I find that there are times when I am truly disproportionately angry and aggressive, and having violent thoughts that are out of the ordinary for me. For me, it usually means that something trauma-related is triggering me.

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Thanks everyone...I sort of felt it was situational and after talking to everyone after teh meeting, they said I hadled myseld well and my ex's fiance looked psychopathic by storming out of the room in tears when she was told the meeting was going to be talking about the divorce and kids therapy and not her. lol I felt vindicated. I get to spend all weekend with them and then Halloween we go back to joint custody the way it's always been. the nightmare is over. I thank God this is over. Good grief.

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  • 8 months later...

I am getting increasingly angry, and it's beginning to concern me. I started getting assertive, then aggressive, then increasingly aggressive. I swear all service people that I deal with- my mechanic, local store, gas station, school- I seem to be with odds with everyone. Everyone that I used to have a pleasant 'relationship' (albeit these are just acquaintences in not the word I'm looking for.. whatever) these relationships have soured because of my aggressiveness. I've become so terribly miserable, angry and often hopeless, but the anger is starting to worry me...

*Can this be part of Borderline?

*Does it /can it progress like this? I used to be a nice person....

(Or maybe it's because I can't find a counselor yet and I'm frustrated with not getting help.)

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Someday,

Anger issues can be a part of borderline, but they can also be a general symptom of something else. I would recommend looking at whether anger management exists in your area, but I know that you are having issues accessing any help right now. Maybe you could get hold of a CBT/DBT workbook or online group?I can get you some links if you like.

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EverythingB- yeah- it scares me.

I seem to be burning bridges everywhere I go. I don't know if this is a progression of an illness or what. Impatient, VERY easily annoyed, take it out on others around me, hate myself for being this way, I've become this angry bitter person I don't know, and it seems to be getting worse...

It scares me because I watched this gradually happen to someone I loved, and still dearly do love them. The gradual progression to eventually rage, alot of suffering, isolation (which I didn't know they were isolating til later) and they suicided.

I feel like that .... I know this is happening to me, and I don't know why.... It's like a speeding train, slow progression but going fast enough to feel and see myself losing everything and fear that none of it can be 'fixed' or retrieved after - if there is an after. This includes the fear of also 'totally losing it'- as in 'no return' to sanity.

Titania:- I just feel too far gone to do CBT by myself. Someone did it years ago with me, (for anx./panic/agor/ and it was a GODSEND- it saved me)- but I don't think I can do it- there's just too much, so many obstacles/issues that are not even being looked at....I'm so close to being hospitalized b/c I can't deal with all these life issues and stresses right now but I fight going in b/c it's all drugs, not help. I know they don't do CBT or DBT in/at the hospital (I asked), and more drugs are not going to help life issues.

I was told DBT can be very hard to go through/do a workbook by myself- and I have a fair amount of trauma, so given the shape I'm in, I don't think I should go there. I know they would BOTH really help me- but at this point just about all thinking is black and life doesn't make sense anymore. Really. When things are this bad- you look at things or you look around you- and what do it matter?

I would give anything to a find a counselor, and a counselor that knows their stuff, if I can hang in there.

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