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Panic about death!


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See in 05 I thought I died. I still have haunting anxiety attacks about those days I was in a psychosis. I rememeber it all very well. Today I have been dealing with floating anxiety that is just wanting to grab my attention. There's so much I want to do with my life but this anxiety is so overwhelming that it hinders me from achieving the goals I want. Today has been a good day up until now and I'm just writing down my thoughts because the anxiety hurts. I wished I could get on something to help it but I'll press on.

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I take Luvox, klonopin zoloft depakote remeron and lamictal. And yes I'm seeing a therapist friday It's just so hard. The klonopin I think pooped out on me and now Ihave to just deal with this anxiety. I'll ask the doctor for ativan but who knows what he'll say.

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This anxiety is just too much! I have OCD which the theme says I'm dead. But, I'm typing to you and responding so the answer is you couldn't be dead but, does sheer reasoning really help my OCD NO! It only feeds it. But, also at the same time how can I accept that I maybe dead and awaiting the lake of fire. Because I'm a fervent believer of Jesus Christ and I just cannot get over this theme. I was having a good day then it fell on me like a ton of bricks.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I went through a period of time as a child where I believed I was the only person who existed and the rest of the world did not. I remember it clearly and it was the scariest time in my whole life. I couldnn't have been more than 7 or 8. I sometimes wonder if i'm alive too or if i've died and if the life i'm living is just an extension of life, if that makes sense (I'm sure it doesnt). But luckily i don't get stuck there. I can't imagine going through what you are but i can tell you that i'm alive and I'm reading your posts so you must be alive. Maybe you need an adjustment to your meds in addition to someone you can talk to in person at length to about these feelings. You shouldn't have to question. Good luck.

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