Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Poll about the nature of MI - Please Answer


The Nature of Mental Illness  

51 members have voted

  1. 1. Some people's brains are just built wrong and cannot ever be fixed or truly mitigated in any major way.

    • Yes
      28
    • No
      23
  2. 2. If a constant suicidal state is the result, all that can be primarily accomplished by major intensive therapy is the ability to avoid acting on those feelings.

    • Yes
      19
    • No
      32


Recommended Posts

I've been suicidal since I was 12. Constantly ODing on what ever I could get my hands on by age 14. I planned on being dead by 20. I would say I have definitely been in been in a constant suicidal state. EXCEPT when I have found meds that properly manage my condition. I have had time when I have been stable and even, dare I say, enjoyed life.

Although I feel hopeless right now, I don't think it is hopeless.

I have been in therapy for long stretches at a time it did more than just teach me how to avoid acting on the suicidal feelings. It has helped me to examine the feelings and logically reject them. It has taught me to change my view point and see the world in less of a bleak way. Therapy at times has taught me to see the value in life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've had both. Seven years ago I was completely off meds and was suicidal my tdoc helped bring me to a point where I wasn't suicidal and where I wanted a better life so I got on medication. But there have also been occasions where I know I've been going down hill and I've gotten insights from therapy that the world isn't as bad as I'm viewing it as.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think DBT has deprogrammed a lot of things from my brain. If I have what I perceive to be a negative emotion (sadness), I don't feed in to it anymore. I observe the feeling. I don't let my thoughts get carried away from me. That seems to have lessened the psychological nastiness that comes along with negative emotions. I'm not perfect at this skill - I'm still working on it - but it does help.

I truly don't think that there are brains so broken that they cannot be fixed. I worked in mental health with some of the toughest populations you can come by. And I saw people get better. It takes a lot of doing, but it happens. Even people who were ill for twenty years could get better. People are very, very resilient.

One thing I've learned over the last year or so is that thoughts are simply thoughts. I do not have to let them run away from me. I have control over them. I have sensations of emotions, but not the awful thoughts that used to accompany them. It has eased a lot of my suffering.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Vapourware

I can't answer this poll, the questions are too black and white.

I can understand where you are coming from, though. A part of me does think that some people's brains are just inherently built in a fucked-up fashion, and thereby there is not much to help. However, there are constantly new advances in treatment - I remember you were saying something of the sort to me as a response to one of my blog entries - and I know you've tried a lot, but there's still more options left for you.

Then there are lots of therapy options out there. I've found that therapy can help with reality-checking my thoughts, finding coping strategies, finding ways of coping with triggers, etc. Therapy has helped me with a lot more than just keeping me from suicide. I think you've only just restarted therapy? It is a good idea to persist with it and see where it takes you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Since no one has ever given me a brain scan with the fucked upness circled on it, I've no idea if my brain is broken or not. I've read a fair bit of material about MI, some from the 'faulty brain chemistry' camp and some from the 'we haven't identified the brain well enough to know if it could be broken' camp. I suspect the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Even if my brain were totally fucked, I'd rather not know.

I've been suicidal since I was 11 and I'm 27 and I still have a lot suicidal ideation. I've taken a lot of meds and done a lot of therapy and the pain hasn't gone away. This is disappointing and it makes me angry. However, like Rowen posted, the pain doesn't rule me anymore, I can experience not pain, and I'm wise enough to tell the difference now. I do have a life that is worth living, despite days like today when I'd welcome death. The sweet moments when I feel relief and happiness are worth living with the pain long term, IMHO.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't believe my brain functions "normally" without meds, no. That being said, meds treat my symptoms rather nicely, which gives me evidence that there's SOMETHING going on up there, I don't need a brain scan.

I don't feel hopelessly suicidal for long periods, thank goodness. And I don't really use therapy for that, really. Therapy has been useful for a variety of things, including COPING with suicidality, but it's not my natural long term state (anymore). Took me a while to find a cocktail that would make that happen, though, and moving to a place with a different photoperiod (go AZ and constant sunlight!).

Anna

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have seen so many people on the board get better over the last seven years, that I think one of the most important thoughts I can convey to people is to 'hang on' and keep working meds and therapy until something clicks and things improve.

A milestone for me was when my depression first improved enough that I realized that even though suicidal thoughts were coming into my head when I didn't want them, that I could accept them as just thoughts. I could discard them and that they would not hurt me themselves. Eventually I used the same techniques for controlling SI thoughts. The rubber band on the wrist snapped when a thought would appear.

I know when the suicidal thoughts start to appear that is a sign I'm doing worse and that I need to talk to my pdoc.

This seems like an inadequate answer, that needs a novel length answer. Lunch on a sunny sidewalk would be better place to discuss. :) a.m.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I accept that my brain is broken and cannot be fixed-I'm never going to be cured. But I can be treated, and if my meds are working right I can live a good life and get things done in the world. That is a very major mitigation, so your first question is only half applicable.

When I get suicidal these days. and my tdoc gets worried, I explain to him that I have thirty years worth of experience not killing myself (it was my birthday yesterday so that is now literally true and not a rounded-off number, since I first became suicidal when I was nine). There is a lot more to be said for the ability to not act on a suicidal impulse than you seem to be appreciating. Therapy makes it easier. Easier is nice. I like easier.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I accept that my brain is broken and cannot be fixed-I'm never going to be cured. But I can be treated, and if my meds are working right I can live a good life and get things done in the world. That is a very major mitigation, so your first question is only half applicable.

So, do you believe that mitigation is always possible? Or are there cases where that is not true. That's moreso the meaning behind my question.

When I get suicidal these days. and my tdoc gets worried, I explain to him that I have thirty years worth of experience not killing myself (it was my birthday yesterday so that is now literally true and not a rounded-off number, since I first became suicidal when I was nine). There is a lot more to be said for the ability to not act on a suicidal impulse than you seem to be appreciating. Therapy makes it easier. Easier is nice. I like easier.

First, happy birthday! Second, I can definitely see the benefit of being able to resist suicidal impulses when feeling them. I'm still here because of it. However, when that state becomes the rule rather than the exception.. quality of life in general comes into play in my mind. I can admit that there are different levels of feeling suicidal that I'm not appreciating. I'd like to think that therapy alone could remove the impulse. The opposite was stated to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a very tricky topic to discuss. I think that exhaustion from trying and despair of every finding the right med kills more people than the non-existence of a medication that would help. There are some shitty pdocs out there. There are people who really go through the wringer. I'm on a cocktail now involving five meds. It took twenty-odd fails to find this mix, over the course of almost 10 years. Some of those years were better than others.

My therapist has been a more reliable source of comfort, support, and help than meds have been. But I am under no illusions: I have no chance without the meds. At this point I have probably learned enough in therapy that if I had to I could get along without it. In the early days of my treatment that would not have been so. I owe my life to both therapy and meds.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't answer such a black and white poll. I do think even though I have been suicidal since my early teens, off and on, there are good treatments that have made signifigant parts of my life actually, truly, happy. Not manic happy, but content happy. DBT, even though I got most of my teaching online or through a workbook, really helped me. Mindfullness was a new concept to me, and has brought me such peace. I think most brains can be fixed. My only exception would possibly be the sociopathic brain, which may even be treatable someday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i answered yes to both, but if i weren't in a depressive episode, i would probably answer "no" to number two.

my train of thought was "if the meds never work right, and the suicidal ideation is still there, the last resort is therapy that can allow you to "tolerate" having these thoughts without them ruining the rest of your life. i kinda feel like i'm in that spot now, but i don't really think i'm out of med options (it just always feels that way when you're waiting for something to work).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My brain is at least intrinsically bent, if not broken.

(Cambridge university have taken some measurements from it, and |Oxford university want it when I've finished with it.)

And no medication or therapy is going to turn my autistic spectrum brain into a "normal" one.

On the depression front, which is partially related, I have a long history including significant stretches with suicidal ideation.

If I really thought at such times, (and it's gone to a jury before now) that there was no chance of improving my life situation or mood I would decide to stop the unprofitable business, just as for a factory running at a loss.

"When a day of aching struggle wins another just the same..."

The only thing that has kept me going at the worst has simply been "Is there anything we haven't tried?"

After suicide you don't get to try anything else so it has, for me, to be a very real but very last option.

Though I have got weary enough to have very few other items on my "to do" list.

Not quite that bad, currently.

Chris.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...