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ytd i open my facebook,i saw a picture of the girl i love with another guy,and they seem to be together,i m deeply fustrated and dissapointed with myself,but the main culpride is the schizophrenia negative symptom...if it isnt the negative symptom,i would be with the girl already :(,this is so sad,i dunno why i coulden even cry when i saw this,this is fucking sad and fustrating,i dun want to live this life anymore...ALL THE FUCK BECOZ OF THIS SCHIZOPHENIA,i lose to participate in life,anguish is the word i would descript my feeling...now i dun want to even open my facebook anymore,becoz i dun want to think about that...how i wish i had the bravery to commit suicide,but i just coulden...and i dunno if this is delusion or jealousy,sometimes when i think of her,i imagine her having sex with guys,and i feel like pucnhing the wall with anger...

FUCK SCHIZOPHRENIA,I DUN DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT,THIS IS REALLY UNFAIR,I HAD NEVER COMMITED CRIME OR ANY INHUMAN THINGS TO DESERVE THIS KIND OF TREATMENT,WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING SHIT??

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Guest Vapourware

I'm sorry to hear you're in distress. Schizophrenia can suck donkey balls, I agree. Negative symptoms, especially. Yes, it's not fair - no-one deserves the condition.

However - you've got it, and I guess what has to be done now is to deal with the condition as best as you can. Suicide isn't really the answer. As long as there are some treatment options out there, you shouldn't completely give up just yet.

As for the girl...if I were you, I'd try not to think about her much, and maybe remove her from your friend's list. There's no point dwelling on the "what ifs". There's every chance that things between you and her might not have worked out anyways, even without the schizophrenia being in the way.

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