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Blackouts (split from topic in Dissociative Disorders)


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ya i do all the time im on lamictal 400mg and strattera 100mgs celexa 40mg xanx.5 abilify30mg visterall 50mg ambiean 10 or 20 mgs per a day im on this and have bad memory loss and relize its happening the blackouts dont recall shit its happening everday on my texts and fb i go i dont remember that and ppl tell me stories of the night before i dont remember sometimes all have like a 2 minute part i rember the day or 2 days later. i font want to change my meds but it has to end i guess one time i took a whole bottel of xanx and sliced my arm bad lik slautered it and was admitted to a horrible untite lik a mentall instiution mental health unite and it feels like dreams i cant controll and i dont wana hurt myself but i dont wana changemy meds i feel like the help drastically. and i dont think anyone would belive if i told them an i dont wanna tell my doctor cuz again i dont wanna change my meds. i have bipolar 2 adhd insomnia ptsd.anyone relate or have advise.

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i guess i snapped when i was 16 and ended up in place i dont recall what it was lik but i was in there 2 months almost i cant remembre im actually tearing up talking about this cuz it makes me think what the future is like and wit my meds i never cry it takes a lot lik im a zombie no feelings but i lik it cuz i use to b a mess and hold grudges and i feel lik my meds are slowly helping just started 2 months ago. trying to stabel my life but its stressfull and i feel lik i hav no support sysmtem and feel so alone and i recently had a maygor change in my life that happen to quick its hard to grasp cuz everything in my life i took for grainted i lost my home im living in a closet and lots other bad stuff and ppl around me make it worse. they dont even know it.

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i was only manic once an i do not want it to happen again i remeber nothing its scary and i have blaxking out of and on since i took my meds or it could be the drastic changes in mylife now that i think of it i wonder if all even remember this tomorwow cuz i see things i text or write on fb and have no recall its so scar. and thats another thing that could trigger my manic

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