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hi all-

i've been a long time reader and recent member of the other sister website. i stubbornly and wrongly believed the severity of my issues weren't in sync with my pdoc's analysis. so i spent time focusing on the meds and occasionally visited this site falsely believing the science was more important than our personal situations.

suddenly, i found my posts and thoughts less and less about meds and more and more about what this site is about. i discovered the next stage,,, which is that our stories and fun talk are unique to us and only understood by us ("us" being the mentally interesting, not 'us' in my head).

i'm crappy at communicating in internet forums, seriously. they can send me into a depression with full boycott of the internet. weird. also in person... one day i was crying and buying a vintage army vehicle for no reason. later that day when my pdoc asked the standard 'how am i doing?' question, i responded, "i'm fine."

my story is long, but probably the same underlying themes of all of us.

here is the med cocktail brain fog intro from the other site:

I'm not really unique. Most everything I have experienced since childhood is, well, clinical. "Just quirks," "you're weird," "get over it," "there is nothing wrong with you," "why are you so antisocial?" "everyone hears things, " blah, blah, blah. Anyone who got to know me slightly always said that 'I live in my head.' At the time I vaguely understood the comment, but my mind kept me from realizing the true meaning.

I spent so many days in the hospital. Not for psychiatric issues per se, but for debilitating physical manifestations of a not so unique mind. My employment started out great. But each new job got shorter in duration, always because of a problem with "them."

Yep, divorced.

As the downward spiral continued, I was told by the head of psychiatry at a very notable hospital that, "there is nothing wrong with you." Not even a 30 second evaluation, not one question of what the hell goes through my mind. FUCK HIM.

So I was inundated with constant contradictory information. My mind kept deteriorating and shit got worse. I found a pdoc but procrastinated awhile. I finally went. I got half way through the initial paperwork and couldn't answer one more fucking question. I simply wrote, "HELP."

And he did. Initially he didn't give a rat's ass about a diagnosis, only treated my immediate symptoms. Thank you to him. The situation improved and then the volatility of the cocktail game started. As everyone here knows, it is hell. But the further along in the process, the further I get from that med cocktail of death, the gun, the driving into an oncoming truck, etc.

I post here depending on my state of mind. Sometimes I know the members are too intelligent and are collecting my data. Other times I want to chime in but don't know enough about neurotransmitters to offer insight. It is a mixed bag. And in all likelihood, I will delete this post when I change mental status.

But for now, thank you to everyone on this site. Informative, supportive, and UNIQUE!!!!!! In the best way that we can be.

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Please leave your post and feel free to participate.

We are not collecting your data by the way.

Welcome to posting, I am glad you are finding a pdoc to help you.

Also, not all of us know our neurotransmitters that well, so you are not unique in that. It really truly doesn't matter. Post what is on your mind.


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Welcome to Crazyboards.

No one here is "collecting" your "data." For one thing, we are all anonymous, and what data is there to collect? I have no idea who you are, where you are from, whether you are male or female, your age, or anything else about you.

Please read the user agreement when you get a chance. If there is something you don't understand, contact a staff person and we will do our best to answer your questions.


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