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I guess I'm just looking for reasons about why one should stay on medications when you feel like they do nothing for you? I'm so tired of taking pills every day. They only give them to me weekly so I'm tired of arranging rides to get to the pharmacy every week. I mention to my pdoc that I'm sick of pills and he just goes "i know". I don't even get why I'm on the Effexor because I was on that for six years and it stopped working. Got a new pdoc and he put me on it. It is like every pdoc likes to switch around everything that the old doctor did before just so they can make their mark on you. The current one barely listens to me during appointments. I asked to be switched and they said well you have every right to a new pdoc but there are none in your town and I doubt they'll let me travel to another district.

I'm struggling each day here with them. And I don't understand why. I've always been med compliant. Always a big believer and lecturer of others that they just have to take their meds. Suddenly I find myself all defiant yet I'm super scared of going off them myself so I stay on them. Really I'd like to just flush them all down the toilet and be done with them. Promises to my therapist are the only thing that has me keeping taking them.

I have this total logical side that is aware of the benefits of medications and the little kid in me that just wants to throw a tantrum at having to take another pill. Then I don't help matters by saying I am having suicidal ideation and self harming thoughts.

I'm just feeling really resentful that I have to take these things. Does anyone else feel this way? Have recommendations to keep yourself going with your routine after so long on them?

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I know this feeling all too well. I often feel like ditching my meds, especially when I feel like they are not working. But I don't, largely because I know that I'd be worse without them even though they seem to not be doing much. I work with my pdoc to try to change them to meds that work better.

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The memory of how bad it is off meds gets me thru those times. I take something like 12 medications now, so I go thru that toss 'em all thing every week or two. Then I remember that medically I feel like shit w/o those meds, and how much I hate the crazy. So, I then get over myself and swallow.

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