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Do burn out on jobs or have you ever found "the one"?


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Sweet mother of God, I am going to start crying over this report. It's not difficult to do at all, but it's boring. I bet I could finish it in 20 minutes if I could make myself do it.

That's the story of my whole job lately. I don't want to do it. I keep doing it because I pay the bills in our family, but I find that I'm becoming increasingly resentful and feeling trapped about that.

I have about a 3-year lifespan in terms of employment. Guess what year I'm in in this job?

Did you ever find a job you could stick with? What are you good at? Did you ever find a job that allowed you to do that? Right now, I find that I'm in a job situation where I'm continually told, "you're very creative. Stop doing that." They want cookie cutter sh**, and I'm not a cookie cutter person.

I used to go by the philosophy that work is work and home is home. Never, ever take work home. You work because you have to, suck it up, and enjoy being at home with your family. These days, I'm finding that I'm so emotionally drained from my job that I don't want to be around my family. I can't do that- I have a wonderful child and husband. I missing out because I'm burning out.

I think, more and more, I need a job that will let me be physically active. And artistic would be nice, too, but that never pays the bills. I'd settle for physically active.

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I hear you. I am good for about 5 years at a job and then i am burned out. I have been lucky to have had several well paying careers. I am at 5 years at the present job last year. Pdoc and i are trying stronger stims to see if that will help.

nf

Edited by notfred
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I haven't found "my" job yet. It's hard to find work in my profession, and I've been doing other types of work. Even if I did find work in "my" profession, it is not a guarantee that it would be exactly what I want or expect. I think what you should never give up the job search to find the job you really want. Even if it is Day 1 at a new job, keep searching for the job that you want, just don't let co-workers know about it.

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Thanks. I'm still getting used to the idea that I'm not going to work the same job for 35 years, like my dad did. I'm lucky, too, I've always been able to find jobs that paid well-enough.

I'm coming to a crossroads with this current job. There is one big thing that I was hired to complete, and it's about to be completed. I felt obligated to stick it out through that, but not afterward. So, after the beginning of the year, I'll feel free to look again. It's also possible that- since The Big, Damn Thing will be completed- that my job will change dramatically enough at that point that I won't be so restless anymore.

Restless is my middle name, though. I sometimes think that's just the way I am, and I'll be that way no matter what I'm doing. Maybe I should just stay where the $$ is and shut up.

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I'm on SSDI, so prob....my co-worker(s) were emotionally, physically & sexually abusive. I was def. not "cookie cutter" either & got flack for such things as recycling!! This was in various health care fields...I loved the patients & still miss them. Worked 10 years in a nursing home & can almost recite residents names & mannerisms (left in 2005). Ironically, the nursing home job prepared me for being in Psych. hospitals, many of the residents were "retired" from Psych. hospitals.

oops, meant to delete "so prob"

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Girlwithefarawayeyes... If I did not know about ADHD, I would begin to think that you are my soul mate or something like that.

I just quit my last job in real estate. Well... technically, was sort of fired from it. My boss told me to go on commission based - meaning no 9-5 sched but no allowance as well. In other words, he as good as told me to get the hell out of the business.

My bosses were always very impressed with me and my performance AT FIRST, that's why I tend to get away with attendance issues in the beginning. But over time, like the SAME OLD STORY of my life... they would start being strict with my attendance (of course!!!! ) then I just find a way to suck at whatever it is I choose to do, find a way to hate my job and quit.

I have tried everything... I tell you. I've been in the fast-paced ones, the creative ones, the challenging ones, etc.. in the beginning, it was always great - oh and here's more - I would even say: YES THIS IS IT, THIS IS FOR ME. And as usual... it becomes boring or too complicated, too stressful - whatever it is that I find about a job that other people seem to endure.

I here you. I am good for about 5 years at a job and then i am burned out. I have been lucky to have had several well paying careers. I am at 5 years at the present job last year. Pdoc and i are trying stronger stims to see if that will help.

nf

WOW 5 years!!! I can't even imagine that!! My longest job was 1 year and 4 months, after that was the beginning of the never ending story.

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Ah, see I have that good old inattentive version of adhd. I have great attendance at work. I'm just not mentally there. I can maintain pretty well, but it causes me a lot of stress. I leave work, school completely exhausted from trying to pretend like I'm "there". My actual work habits are very sporadic. I'm good at getting things done on the fly, though, so I can usually pull it together. I spend long, long periods doing next to nothing, though. I also don't develop relationships at work. I get along with people, but I don't think I've ever gone out for drinks or something like that with people I work with. I'm just done at the end of the day.

From what I've read, my experiences are pretty much dead-on for people with adhd. There's period of anxiety when a big project is finished or about to be finished. I get all hyperfocused on finishing it, and then when it's done, I'm lost. So, I guess that's just what's normal for me.

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These days, I'm finding that I'm so emotionally drained from my job that I don't want to be around my family. I can't do that- I have a wonderful child and husband. I missing out because I'm burning out.

I burned out after 30 years in the same career. 14 years in the last particular post.

I'm not sure if the job changed, the public changed, or I just used up all my reserves of tolerance and enthusiasm.

One marker relates to what you describe: to the very end I was very good at what I did. But increasingly there was a difference between the professional face I put on at work and the real me. And maintaining that difference was draining (tending to make the gap greater, which was more tiring...) so after work there was "nothing left": no energy, no enthusiasm. Just vague motions towards trying to relax. Certainly not a willingness to tackle stimulating projects or sort out problems.

I had to quit *before* I made a real mess one day at work, and that was a good call.

What I had nothing like realised was how much I was holding myself together to present that "competent professional persona"

It wasn't a sabbatical I needed. Turned out it was two years at least after an almost complete collapse which hit me about six months after resigning.

Mentally I'm back in a better place (somewhat.) Unfortunately physical illness is very much interfering with my intended career change and return to work.

Chris.

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I think most people are not totally happy with their job, even non ADD people.Fewer that half of workers are satisfied with their job. So this is something most everyone deals with.

I'm almost 50, I decided I prefer being well paid to having a totally satisfying job. A large salary is very satisfying.

http://money.cnn.com/2010/01/05/news/economy/job_satisfaction_report/

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I like the engineering work I do. When I'm not working, I get withdrawal symptoms and start covering many sheets of paper with sketches and numbers. HOWEVER, I am not really a fan of the corporate environment. It's okay if I'm working with reasonable people, but people move on. I've been fortunate to have a number of bosses and coworkers who I liked and respected, but then they change jobs. Or the company has a bit layoff, or goes bankrupt, or my temp assignment ends.

Longest I've ever been on one job was five years.Usually it's only a couple of years. But I seldom quit and very seldom get fired. Probably if I was better at looking for work, my average duration on a job would be longer.

I quit my last job, though, at the end of a big project. I could possibly get back in there when some other things in my life settle down, but I wasn't a big fan of the boss and I didn't like the continual feeling of panic, which, since I was a temp, made me feel like I couldn't take much vacation.

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  • 11 months later...

Longest I've lasted is about a year and a half as well. I find project work to be better than doing some cookie cutter task job. I really hate the testing phase of the job though. That gets boring fast and it's a big struggle to maintain focus on it. I'ma laid back type and have been in the finance industry and I don't think it's right for me so I'm switching over to the entertainment industry, I hear it's more laid back and fun which is what I need. But anyway I think project lifecycle work is a decent match for those with ADD.

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I have had I think two jobs after college and they both lasted a few months till I couldnt handle them anymore, as I remember I left one due to stress, and btw stress is a big trigger for an episode for me. The other one was an overnight job and I just couldnt adjust to working at night and on my days off operating durring the day. The longest time I have ever held a job? well I think I started when I was in middle school, gotta love being in a family business. I have been back working for the family since 2007 and it has been the job that has made me unable to work I think. My dad is actually making me go in from 3 to 6 today to do returns, oh joy, he has no freaking idea of what really really want to do to the place I work.

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I've had so many different jobs (and periods of unemployment) that it's not funny... heck, it's to the point that PTSD is probably involved somewhere, I can't start up writing a resume without feeling depressed on some days.

If my luck with gaining interviews is any insight, my suggestion would be to look for careers at consulting firms. By nature, your job will change every few months as projects are completed.

Best of luck!

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  • 4 weeks later...

I definitely get the urge to move on every couple of years, and start looking into other jobs but never find anything I think I would like better (or just hate less). For 10 years I was a high school teacher, and now I am getting my PhD and teaching undergrads. I think both of those jobs are do-able for me because #1 they have lots of mini-deadlines: I have to have my lesson plans done by the time class starts and they had better be good, or I will have an hour of torture trying to focus 25 bored, frustrated teenagers. In grad school the deadlines aren't quite as panic-inducing, but the consequences are much more severe (instead of an hour of torture, it's a C or F in the class).

#2 they change every semester. I always have new students and/or new classes. I could never be one of those teachers who teach the same class year after year. I think it's good for the students if the teacher likes to do that because you do get better the more you teach something, but I just get too bored. I can teach a class one year, and then a second time, and then I feel like I have gotten all the kinks out and it's time for a new challenge. Luckily administration is always changing the curriculum so there's always something new to teach!

Now that I'm in academia, I think what keeps me going is the fun of pursuing answers to research questions. I am willing to do the boring research because I'm excited to see the end result. It is essentially a bunch of small projects, ranging from a couple months to a couple years. I still really, really struggle with grading papers though because it's so ridiculously boring and time-consuming! Ugh! And if I ever have to quit Adderall I am completely fucked. I could never do this job without stims, which makes me nervous but my doctor told me to quit worrying about it LOL

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I've never had a job as long as my current one. Not even close. Not sure if it's "the one," I'm good at it, the company is vreat, I would gladly work there for a very long time, but... the stress, oh my goodness, and the energy drain.

But, not leaving it anytime soon either.

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  • 4 weeks later...

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