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My female friend just came out of the closet


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My female friend just call her Bes just came out of the closet and said she's a lesbian.But she once years ago was interested in me sexually.She was just coming out of a abusive relationship with another guy and she became interested in me sexually years ago.But I have a girlfriend.Her job was in conflict with it since she hopes to be a cop or a DEA agent one day but she was into me.She still is but there's no chance between her and me.If things were different years ago I'd probably marry her but I have a girlfriend and her job would have been in conflict with me and her.Can anyone help me on what to do.I have a girlfriend and I years ago had the same feelings with her and me that she had between me and her.Now what do I do.

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I'm not sure really what there is to be done on your side. You're male (it seems) and she's interested in/attracted to female people. History may be relevant to her own process of sorting things out--and understandably could make things more complicated in your head--but it doesn't change the fact that her current attractions are not to you or to people of your gender.

What I am confused about is the situation with your girlfriend...are there issues there? What's the comparison to your other friend? Sorry if I'm missing something obvious.

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I don't really understand what you mean- your post is kind of convoluted. If she just came out of the closet, why would you think she is still interested in you? Just because she was years ago doesn't mean she isn't a lesbian. It can take some people time to understand their sexuality.

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Your feelings for her don't make you less of man. Same deal with her lack of interest in you. What is sticky is if you are confused and believe she still has sexual feelings for you. That's really unlikely seeing as she is gay and all.

Life changes. Move on.

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I;m not really getting this one either. Just be nice to her, I'd think, and offer her support if needed.... You have a gf and she is no longer interested in males, unless she is also bi. In any case, if you and her job are in conflict that's the most important thing I'd think, anyway, right?

What exactly has changed here?

Anna

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Guest Vapourware

This is how I'm interpreting the post, correct me if I'm wrong...

+ She's a lesbian;

+ You're in a relationship with another woman;

+ Years ago, you and her considered a relationship but called it off.

Are you confused about what might have happened if you had a relationship with her, all those years ago?

Sometimes people take a while to come to grips with their sexuality. There are numerous examples of people who do all the hetero things - hook up with members of the opposite sex, get married, raise a family - and then realise that, in their heart of hearts, their orientation is gay/lesbian.

I think you should just let it go and treat her as a friend. You already are in a relationship and she's a lesbian, so nothing is going to happen. There's no point in hanging onto a "what if" from years ago.

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Just because she says she is now a lesbian doesn't mean she's a liar because she once had feelings for you. It can take years and years to come to the final realization of what you're sexuality is and some people can actually stay confused their entire lives.

Stay her friend is all I can say.

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