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James Heinold Jr.

I Recently Had To Do A Tramdic Re-Enactment, PLEASE HELP

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I had a VA appointment last friday, and at the appointment I had to re-enact a couple of horrific times when I was in Iraq. Long story short, we were driving, we were hit on the right front side, by a roadside bomb. There were four of us in the vehical. I was sitting behind the driver & I was the only one who surrvived somehow. As soon as I noticed the explosion we were already flipping, next I can remember calling out names(of the 3 that were in the humV with me), No one was answering, as I looked to my right there was a body...... ok well lets just say it was really bad, really really bad. Anyway ever since I had to do the re_enactment, I havent been able to eat, barley sleep, which im used to, but I can't stop bein sooooooooo jelous to my fiance, she has never did anything wrong to me in any way. I really dont have any friends since I stopped drinking a year ago, all I have is my fiance, and I am soooooo happy that I have her, if I keep this jelousy crap up shes gonna leave me, and than theres nothing stopping me from buying rope. has anyone elese had to do a re-enactment and how do you get back to norm? I do wish she would almost baby me, but I don't want to ask her, I kinda hope she'll figure It out on her own? what do I do, and is it normal for me to question her every move from ptsd?

Edited by James Heinold Jr.

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Welcome to CB.

You will probably get more responses if you switch to normal sentence cases - capitalizing the first letter of every word makes it a little hard to read.

I'm not surprised that having to do a re-enacting has caused a lot more symptoms, I imagine that was awful. Are you in therapy at the moment? Are you on any medication?

Your fiance can't read your mind, you are going to have to tell her. Maybe something like "I'm remembering some really awful things that happened in Iraq, I feel scared and I know I'm acting weird. It would be great if you could hug me (or whatever)".

The thing with PTSD symptoms is with treatment they often get worse before they get better. Saying that, they WILL improve. You need to seek treatment and you need a safety plan in case you become suicidal.

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Yes i am in therapy, every friday i go to the philadelphia va. Oh thanks for the heads up on my writting, sorry about that. I have been in therapy for just about a year, i have tryed everything, medications didnt seem to help, alcohal just masked my ptsd and, delayed my healing. I feel like there is no end, I am getting worse, and it scares me, thats why im on here, I hate to write. I have 3 children, 16boy, 13girl, 3girl. The two teenagers are my step-children, and i want to adopt them, I love them, But for some reason I try everything to stay distant from them. My daughter i am ok with, but I still won't play games with her like i should. I can't get happy, the only time I am truly happy is when i am holding my fiance in my arms. I am currently taking Methadone, And Temazapam(to help me get back to sleep after nightmares).............Oh by the way im Jim

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I follow a blog on a PTSD site that often has good information http://healmyptsd.com/

I am not endorsing it, since I've never tried any of the services other than to read the blog. But the author is very active in promoting the cause of vets with PTSD, and working towards healing. You might find some info more info there. There are also lots of very informed people here on CB, who will know much more than me since my PTSD is not combat related.

Keep up with the meds and with therapy. Be as honest with yourself and your family as you can about what you need to help you. Any time I have to work through an old trauma in detail it haunts me for weeks, sometimes more, but eventually I can get my feet back under me. I hope you get some relief very soon.

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It seems you're having difficulty discussing your feelings with your family? I don't have combat experience but still, can totally relate. I drive my SO nuts with my moods and fears, and I have a really hard time telling him what's bothering me, especially when I'm mad at him.

I was also very jealous of him for a long time, but my tdoc helped me by telling me that my jealousy was caused by fear of losing him. She told me not to bother worrying about him cheating because in the end I can't control what he does. There's no use worrying about stuff you can't change. Since then I've felt a lot better about trusting him.

It might help to be open with your therapists about your feelings and jealousy. That way they might be able to suggest things to help you.

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