I can't stay awake

[azul]

I have some good days where I do stay awake, even though I'm absolutely exhausted.

Most of the days, though, I can't. I really can't and it hurts because I disappoint myself, and also my girlfriend.

I feel this overwhelming feeling of sleepiness, like I do at night, and I need to close my eyes. It's been going on since I was younger, and then I actually made the conscious choice to nap. Now, I never want to. Sometimes I say, "I'll just close my eyes," and I'll wake up half an hour later. Other times, when I get that feeling, I get up, I run around, I shower, and yet I still fall asleep.

My pdoc thinks it's sleep apnea, my GP thinks it's somnolence. Ever since I can remember, I've been doing this.

Like I said, it's just in the past I've made the choice to get 12 hours of sleep and then take a nap to help relieve whatever these symptoms are.

Right now, I'm even feeling really really fucking tired and I involuntarily fell asleep a little while ago. I get enough sleep at night, 6-8 hours. I always do get enough sleep. It's just.. this is really fucking with my life.

I feel like I'm not getting anything accomplished. I hate myself because of this. :C

I was hoping that maybe somebody can offer some advice. I'm seeing a sleep specialist sometime soon, I just have to get their call back.

[hallowedink]

I really don't think it's anything to hate yourself over, after all it's not your fault. I'm sorry that you feel that way, and I hope the sleep specialist sheds some light on it for you. I really isn't your fault, though, and I'm sure your girlfriend will understand that it's not your fault, it's actually an illness. Try not to blame yourself.