What's worse, being on Geodon or going off it?

[danzadora]

I'm 23 years old. I am rapid cycle bipolar II and I have OCD (pure O.) I am on 900 mg of Eskalith (extended-release Lithium) and 40 mg of Geodon. I am also on Cortisol Calm, an herbal supplement, so that I can sleep. My Geodon dosage used to be 120 mg, but every time I took it, overwhelming drowsiness would overtake me. That, coupled with a mental sensation that I guess I would describe as profound depression, a sensation of being trapped and sometimes feeling suicidal. I always had to take a nap and when I woke up the sensation would be gone. I have never fully described this sensation to anyone but my talk therapist because I have been afraid that they (my psychiatrist or my parents) would try to commit me to a psychiatric ward.

Since I've been on Geodon, through diet and exercise I've lost 80 pounds (which I put on because of Zoloft and Lithium) so I'm sure my metabolism's changed. Now the dose is 40 mg. The sleepiness and trapped feeling only happen occasionally but they do happen. A few weeks ago I was at a social gathering, having recently taken Geodon with my dinner, and I felt the trapped, profoundly depressed feeling coming on. When I got home, I decided...that's it. I know my psychiatrist won't work with me to get me off Geodon. It's time to go off it by myself. I know that self-medicating is dangerous (when I was 19 I went off Lithium by myself, with extraordinarily disastrous results--I won't do that again) but what choice do I have if I want to stop feeling the side effects? I stopped taking it. Pretty soon my anxiety, racing thoughts, paranoia and insomnia shot dramatically upward, to the point where I was sitting in my comp class and I had missed the previous class and I kept staring around the room, nearly in tears, agonizing over whether everyone thought I was irresponsible, when in reality they weren't paying me any mind . I went back on it.

Is there anything I can do that I haven't thought of, or, is there anything I can do to mitigate the boomerang effect when I go off Geodon?

[jt07]

Talk to your doctor. There are other drugs.

[Guest Vapourware]

Really, the best thing is to tell your doctor how the drug impacts on you. You don't know for sure that your doctor won't help you - that sounds more like an assumption on your part. Side effects that impact on your functioning and mood will be taken into account by a doctor. Besides, your doctor can't help you if they are unaware of the side effects.

Suicidal ideation doesn't necessarily equate to hospitalisation - hospitalisation, in those circumstances, tend to be done as a last resort when someone is judged to be an acute risk. Since the sensation seems to go after a few hours and might be medication-induced, it's unlikely that a doctor would put you in the hospital.

Also, coming off ziprasidone [Geodon, but I hate that name] has to be done slowly. Going off cold turkey is asking for trouble, as you've probably noticed from your own experiences.

[hallowedink]

I agree with the others, you should speak to your doctor. And I wouldn't worry about hospitalisation. Nothing that you described seems like you would be hospitalised instantly, probably not at all, because it's a med side-effect that wears off.

Also, have you tried taking the Ziprasidone at night? That might alleviate some of the symptoms because you can sleep through them.

[Anna]

I agree that you need to talk to your doctor. There are plenty of other AAPs that you could try that might work well to control your symptoms without side effects. Your doctor cannot help you without knowing what is going on. For instance, abilify is approved for treating depressive sx, and there are plenty of others that are used in BP dx.

Also, one's withdrawal effects are often mitigated immensely when one CROSS tapers from one AAP to another. So you might not have to feel uncomfortable at all.

It's really dangerous to come off ANY drug without talking to one's doctor and making a crisis plan. Seriously. That's the best way to END up hospitalized, in my opinion. Talking to pdoc and making a REASONABLE plan is much more likely to keep you out of the hospital.

Also, lots of people get side effects from geodon, so I'm sure your pdoc has heard this complaint before. It's likely to be nothing new.

Anna

[danzadora]

Thanks for the advice. I am going to talk to my psychiatrist. The reason I assumed she wouldn't take me off Geodon is that the last time I talked to her about these side effects, she merely lowered the dosage and would not consider switching to another medication.

[danzadora]

And the reason I think that if they heard me talking about suicidal ideation, my parents/my psychiatrist would try to commit me, is that once at age 19 when I was mixed and very angry at my parents, who were present in the session, my psychiatrist was going to send me home, but as soon as I started getting mouthy (not obscenely), my psychiatrist told me that if I did not consent to go to a psychiatric ward she would call the cops. So I have been threatened with commitment for less than suicidal ideation.

[Anna]

Well you are over the age of consent, there are other psychiatrists, right?

Doesn't sound like you have a great rel with yours. Granted, you certainly CAN be committed for being say, homocidal rather than suicidal, but being a bit "mouthy" well, IDK. Doesn't sound THAT bad.

Anna

[Cetkat]

I agree in being totally upfront with your doc... as well as with the cross-taper idea. However, dangerous?... I don't believe to. I went cold turkey off the same amount. Was in bed for three days - worst withdrawal ever! But - I got though it. It was merely extremely uncomfortable.

I really doubt you're in any danger.. it just sucks. Why not try and mitigate that by being upfront with your doc? What harm could that do?