gang of junebugs Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Hi, I surfed in from the Crazy Meds board as well... I have a long history of seeking help. I saw my first shrink at 14.The diagnosis I finally received in about 2000 puzzles me, as in, what is it? Is it a personality disorder? Is it schizophrenia? Or is it society putting a label on certain people they cannot/do not want to understand? From this forum and the other one the most common dxs are forms of bipolar and I see very few people with schizotypal. I have had horrible experiences while trying to take antipsychotic drugs even though they are recommended for my diagnosis. I have been on and off mostly on antidepressants for 18 years. Last year, I was stricken with anxiety so bad I could not sleep, nor read a book, nor even sit still. I ended up not only with yet another rx of antidepressants but now I need anxiety meds and a pill to sleep. I feel I'm too dependent on drugs but do not want to go back where I was this time last year. If an antipsychotic would work for me without giving me the crippling anxiety I get on them, I would try it (maybe) again. Some of them are literally hell in a pill. I'm not as young as I used to be and am sick of being stuck in life. I have been on benefits for more than a decade but am afraid to go back to work and lose my health benefits. I feel that the "ticket to work" is probably a bag of cr*p. All I ever got from work was fired usually anyway. I've been there and done that with volunteering. A lot of the same politics and bs go on there as well. Off meds I felt more creative and intelligent but of course I was more edgy, bitchy, and anxious and could not "get along" with people. If the frontier opens up again, maybe I'll become a "mountain lady". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo 'n dye Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I'm not as young as I used to be and am sick of being stuck in life. I am willing to bet that each and every one of us can say the same thing. The creativity versus medication argument is one that takes place often. For myself, I am more consistently creative and productive when I am adequately medicated. Others state that medication inhibits them and their creativity. It resembles, at least peripherally the ongoing argument that says some of us would rather be beyond the current high of bodily weight and mental stability versus ultra-thin and off-our-rockers. I look forward to getting to know you and to sharing thoughts and ideas with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gang of junebugs Posted December 5, 2011 Author Share Posted December 5, 2011 Yeah, that's the OTHER problem with meds...weight. Not naturally thin, the meds make me even fatter. I want to feel peaceful, rational, stable, etc and not be busting out of my clothes and wanting to eat 24/7. The revved up stimulated feeling was more of a feeling I desired years ago. I once made the mistake of taking diet pills. Great for the weight but I was grinding my teeth and shaking. I had written a book in my HEAD (lol) before going back on meds, but it will never be written, nor will I ever want to write it. When I was feeling up off the meds though, everything seemed an epiphany....now it's workaday (so to speak) drab. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 I'm glad you came here and I hope we can offer you some support and information. Be sure to read the rules and let us know if there is anything you don't understand. Welcome! olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Hello and welcome to CB, junebugs. I think you'll find a lot of understanding and information here. See you on the boards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breezy Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 hello and welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpladybug Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 junebug, your name is so cute glad to have another bug around here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hallowedink Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Welcome to CB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gang of junebugs Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 Thanks all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 HI! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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