Crane Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Hello everyone. I´m a 35- year old guy from Finland. My crazy -history began in late teens with depression, although I realized it only after several years. It was my primary "problem" and "nemesis" for years, I ate pills for it for over nine years. I just recently, about two months ago quit doing Cymbalta, my last depression med. The withdrawals from Cymbalta very nearly killed me, or that´s how I feel about the experience. I feel that I have gotten pretty much over the depression, but from under it GAD has revealed itself. I feel GAD to be worse than depression, it´s more disabilitating for me at least. My only med at the moment is alprazolam, that I take when the anxiety gets too bad. I get addicted very easily,and that´s why I hate eating the alprazolam; it helps with the GAD-symptoms so well that I would like to eat it all the time... Life feels pretty bad at the moment. Here in southern Finland it´s under six hours of daylight this time of year, which really doesn´t help. I´m trying to force myself to go to work everyday, because losing my job would be a disaster. I worry about everything; the global financial crisis, MY own (perpetual) financial crisis, my own health and that of loved ones... I´m glad I found this forum. I´ve seen others like it, but somehow this one seems different. Better I hope I will get to know people here, and maybe give some advice to someone and receive some from others. Nobody else can understand a lunatic but another lunatic I hate the guilty feelings I get when I do something to upset people, something that was a result of my head not working the way it should... it´s not an excuse to behaving badly,being irritated etc., but if someone doesn´t do something because they miss a leg, for example, people don´t get upset at them because they can see the reason. But if you are on a bad mood because of your mental illness, it´s usually thought that "his an asshole" or at least "irritating" or whatever... well anyways, hello. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hallowedink Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Hey, welcome to CB. I agree with you, CB is a lot better than other forums. You'll find that people don't walk on eggshells here like on other forums, and there's a tendency to say it as it is. It's very refreshing. I hope that you find the support and advice you need here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 welcome; this is a great board Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Welcome to our happy nuthouse. You're right---we aren't like other boards and I hope you enjoy hanging out with us. Six hours of daylight would probably drive me around the bend. We have about 9 hours and that ain't a whole lot. Be sure to read the rules and let us know if you have any questions. We have a blog section if you would like to write a blog for ranting and raving. There is also a chat room that's pretty active. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Hello and Welcome to CB! Glad you like what you see so far and I hope you continue to enjoy the community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Hello and welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
breezy Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 hello and welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crane Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 Thanks guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonicwhite Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Hey I was going thru the same thing. Detoxing off klonopin and the brand of xanax wasn't working so I had horrible GAD. So I know how you feel. You have had good days, they will return! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoonGoddess Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 Hello! I just joined here yesterday. I like your analogy of someone having a missing leg and receiving understanding from the general public. We have invisible disabilities and many people just don't get it. I am on medicaid, medicare and food stamps. i feel sooo embarrassed when I pay with food stamps because I "look" perfectly fine. But I am not. if I was, I would still be working as an RN and have plenty of money to buy my food. I had a husband for 18 years, a tyrant. I am single now but back when we were together, he would mock me, make me cry, humiliate me. Then one time I told him that what he was doing was akin to kicking the wheelchair of someone with a visible disability. He apologized and said he had never thought of it that way. I am glad he is gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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