Benzoman Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 throughout my teenage years i've been jumped and gang beat a few times really bad. one time i was knocked unconcious from behind and everyone i thought were my friends including my girlfriend just kept walking. now i have a distain and a mistrust for people that i can't shake. I think everyones out to hurt me. I'm always on the defensive when i go out, and I seldom go out because i'm afraid of being hurt. can anyone relate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysergia Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 yes, i can, and i'm sorry you feel this way. this really deserves some therapy. and time to learn that not all people will do this to you. thankfully life is not like school - you get to choose your environment and you get to choose who to have contact with (for the most part). i was bullied in school as well, and it did take a long time to relearn to trust others. mostly, i just remind myself that i'm not important enough to most people for them to go out of their way to hurt me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enlightened_plutonian Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 This is definitely a therapy topic, as Lysergia suggested. My situation is similar but different. I fear people are trying to hurt me, but for me much of it is due to the recent past and also my illness. Over the years I have had many different coping strategies, that usually were about constantly changing my location (on a day to day basis, not moving house) so I could not be found. But I am working on all this in therapy now, and hoping to leave the past in the past. Because I can see now that there is only 2 people who actually are trying to hurt me (as in this is not a delusion), and most of the time I can keep away from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Yes. I was bullied for about ten years at school. It got better once I left school because, as Lysergia said, I have more control over who I associate with and where. It makes sense to be scared, but you shouldn't have to live in fear - that's no way to live. The way that I see it is every day that I'm too scared to leave, or to speak up, is one more day that my bullies have power over me. And there's no reason for them to have power over me, so it pushes me to speak up and leave the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Please find a therapist and work on this. It would be a shame to let this color your whole life. Kids can tend to be a lot uglier than adults (and as an adult, you have a lot more control over who you interact with, as adult bullies do still exist, unfortunately). Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benzoman Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 The staff at my hospital are mean to me sometimes too because I've been there like 50 times this year over things I thought were serious. Turns out it was just my OCD and being somewhat of a hypocondraict, but I'm afraid now that if i go into the hospital with something serious they won't take me seriously. They already don't take me seriously because my hospital treats mental patients like shit. When I was young I used to chew hairs and I'm afraid that one day a blockage of hair will block my stomach and the hospital won't do anything for me and i'll die. I donno. I might overthink things. Its happened to others though because hair doesn't digest and it forms whats known as a trichobezour or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 Is your OCD being treated? My best friend has OCD and I know how hard it can make life when it's not treated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benzoman Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 Is your OCD being treated? My best friend has OCD and I know how hard it can make life when it's not treated. Yeah I have the top Pdoc in the city and am going to see a psychologist. And now that I'm on a mood stabalizer (gabapentin) i feel a lot less ocd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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