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Hi, I will call myself Cynical Reality for now. I am a 21 year old woman. I don't know where to begin....ok, it all began in 2008. I graduated from high school and moved to a new college. I became so depressed that I slept for 23 hours a day. Then powerful mood swings began. Depressive and hypomanic mood swings. I was put on abilify and lamictal. The ablilify didn't work for me. Then, for my anxiety, she tried prozac. That caused me to become too hypomanic, so she took me off that. Now, I am on lithium, lamictal, and vyvanse. I also take xanax as needed. Currently, the vyvanse is not working, so my doctor has talked about possibly getting rid of the vyvanse. ADHD drugs don't work for people with bipolar disorder like me. She wants to keep me on my lithium. Then, she wants to replace my lamictal with latuda. So, I soon might be taking lithium and latuda. After ruling out things, my doctor said I have bipolar 2 disorder and ADHD comorbidly. I also suffer from so much anxiety.

Lately, my paranoia has gotten so much worse. I talk to less people. I don't like parties of any kind. I feel like the government is watching my ever move, waiting to get me. People laugh at me and talk about me. I don't trust many people, but, I figure I might as well talk here. No one knows my real name or where I live on this forum. I sometimes have so much bottled emotion that I cut myself. When I am hypomanic, I enjoy running across highways, running from college campus security, etc.

I am probably one of the most pessimistic women you will ever meet. I am so sick of having bipolar 2 disorder. Even worse, I know I am stuck with it. I will be taking meds the rest of my life.

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Welcome to Crazyboards, CynicalReality. I hope that you will get some useful support and information from our members, many of whom have had struggles with symptoms and meds like the ones that you describe. It is indeed a bitch to deal with an MI, but you can have a satisfying life with the right balance of therapy and drugs.

Please contact a mod if you have any questions.

olga

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Welcome to Crazyboards, CynicalReality! I also have bipolar disorder and have gone through stages of being sick of my diagnosis and the reality of having to take meds forever. However I have recently accepted the whole package and it's a whole lot easier when you do!!

Look forward to seeing you around.....

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