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hello... i am a 31 years old woman living with bipolar1 disorder and lupus (systemic lupus erythematosis is an autoimmune illness that attacks the body's own organs, tissues, cells). i have been diagnosed with lupus since i was 17 and had it attack the brain and was hospitalised in the mental ward for 2 months when i was 19. that's when the psych meds started... after many unsuccessful attempts to be medicated, eventually abilify made its way into my life... i have been on it for 3 years and even tho i am grateful for it taking away the turbulance of moods and psychosis (from lupus) and mania etc, i feel resentful of it making me put on 20kgs... i have had weight issues most my life and body image issues most my life too so 20kgs is just unbearable. at the moment i am depressed and not very hopeful with my future. the psych doc said that there is no other choice but to take the medication because i react very badly to almost everything else...

i major in psychology in a bachelor of arts.. but its too research oriented and i hate maths.. so when it comes to statistics and lab reports i just cringe. therefore i dont get good results and cannot go for higher education and fulfill my desire to help other people like myself struggling with mental illness. but i heard that i can take the next best thing which is masters in counselling. it will be more oriented towards community work and social work but i am hoping to have a chat with the co-ordinator and maybe get a better idea of it (in australia psychology and counselling are not the same thing.. you can't be a psychologist if your training is in counselling only but you can be a counseller if u are a certified psychologist.. go figure). other than that i havent touched my passion for music for a very very long time... i miss it and it always feels like a part of myself is missing... i find that with the abilify i am not so passionate with anything...

i have 1 family member who is my mother, the rest are in another country and i dont talk to them at all... my other adopted family is my 2 bunny rabbits whom i love very very much... they are my babies. and i currently have 5 mice too. they like running on the wheel... lol

i live in a city apartment funded by my mother... without her constant financial support i would sure to be on the streets. i have very few friends... but the tiny few are very loyal and long term friends. i have had a bf for almost 2 years now who is very very supportive and loving of everything i do.

i like salsa dancing and latin music, balards, r n b (at least 90s r n b lol) and good singers and quality music. not that much of a fan of top 40s but sometimes a song catches my attention. i like horse riding but have not been for a very long time. i also like swimming and seeing movies... i used to like nature but there's too many bugs in it.. lol i like asian foods and have some intolerances...

if i were to wish for anything for myself right now i would wish for a solid, reasonably paid career where i can feel some purpose to my life because atm i feel none...

wishing everyone happy holidays and hope u'v have a great xmas and nye celebration to come


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Welcome to our happy home. Be sure to read the rules when you have time, and I hope you get some good information and support here.


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Rabbits are wonderful pets, and I wish more people thought to get them. Never had mice (wait, does in the walls count?), but I had rats for a while and they're good company too.

Welcome! Glad to have you. A lot of people here struggle to find meaning in their professional lives. You're in good company.

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hey thanks Olga, Phoenix, Jt, Water and Gearhead :) what a lovely welcome wagon thanks everyone... @gearhead, i used to have a ratty... took her everywhere i went! she was the love of my life... when she passed away i couldnt bring myself to get another one... they are special lil creatures. and they dont smell bad like mices lol xoxoxo

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