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Hi, my name is Steve (anenome) and I am pretty much at my last resort. I'm not going to get into specifics, there is no point in doing that when the chances of someone getting back with you is minimal. One thing I have found in my 45 years of life is: For the most part, people (especially in chatrooms), only go when much help is needed immediately. Then, when they feel better or whatever, they basically tell you to 'fuck off'.

Well, I'm not in that position. I am 45 years old and have pretty much given up on life. DO NOT WORRY!!!!! I am NOT suicidal etc. I just have no drive left. This site is pretty much my last hope. If this fails...well, let's just say the system won.

So I am not going to go on and on; I gave you my username (anenome); it's all there in my profile along with my email address. If you are interested, please contact me. If you are not interested, don't contact me.

P.S. NO PREACHING as far as religion goes...I respect others beliefs, I expect the same in return. I'm not out to 'USE' anyone, although I may need some help, I have MUCH experience in the mental health field. Not only 45 years of myself, but a father who tried to commit suicide about 27 years ago (was a successful dentist), but the disorders got the best of him. And I also had a younger brother with a disorder and he successfully committed suicide about 5 years ago. So I have been around the block a few times.

I am also very much a non-conformist realist; I am not bound by ANY religion; am very educated...from politics to design to creative writing to quantum mechanics to chaos theory to string theory to parallel lives/universes/dimensions, etc....(just to let you know).

But please, look me up, I would enjoy the company and helping others even if they have no advice for me.

thank you and looking forward to hearing from you.

Steve (anenome)

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Yeah, I wasn't sure what you wanted, it sounds more like a personals ad than anything else.

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Anemone, this is a board. Join and people will respond to you, no problem. Seriously, did you look around? But shopping your email address around is not likely to get many takers.

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You said you need help, but I'm not sure with what problem, exactly? I'm personally not interested in a one on one email exchange, but try to help with questions on the boards, as others have helped me over the years here. Welcome to the boards and I hope you find what you're looking for.

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Guest Vapourware

So, let me get this straight. You want help but -

I'm not going to get into specifics, there is no point in doing that when the chances of someone getting back with you is minimal.

You would like someone to help you but you're not to say what you need.

Okay?

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I'm don't email people unless it's someone I know. But if you look around the board you'll get some great advice.

Edited by Dusk

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Squirmy, first of all, intelligence and mental illness pretty much go hand in hand. Most geniouses were diagnosed with some kind of diorder, hospitlized and/or attempted or successfully committed suicide. So don't base a measure of intelligence as a measure of mental disorders.

Second, this is NOT an autobiography. I just let out the truth. The fact is, I have been in total isolation for so long I've lost my ability to interact with people.

Third, I am very sick and have been for decades...first diagnosed st 12. And it has just worsened over the years.

If the majority of you are 'stable'...I'm happy for you. But the reason for these forums/chatrooms is to help the lost, not criticize for letting feelings go. That's the problem with most chats I've been to. There are a few that show up that truly heed help/direction, but there is also a 'bond' or 'friendship'...between that and stability, they don't seem to want to deal with other's problems...it's called, 'self-centeredness'. I am by no means saying any of you are that way...how can I judge when I haven't even given anyone a chance. I truly opened up to 'Vapourware' and let it all out last night.

I have been at a loss for a long long time and need help to do just the basics. Even having confidence in people again would help. I'm truly sorry if you took this the wrong way, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I don't consider myself intelligent, it's just over the decades instead of doing drugs to deal with my disabilities, I studied ALL possibilies, especially life, the between and death as well as other theories including Quantum Physics. I'm not bragging, I am just intrigued by 'possibilities' most don't think about.

Yes, I am desperate. I have fought and fought and fought for a long long time and have just gotten worse and came here mainly to here stories and get advice. I'm a good listener.

If you don't want me here, just say the word. And I won't hold grudges, and most importantly, if you feel offended in any way, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be.

Anenome

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Seems to me that the guy just needs some help. Which would be far easier to profer knowing what is wrong.

Thomas

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Mr. Anenome,

do you have a psychiatrist?

are you taking any medication?

are you in therapy?

" I have fought and fought and fought for a long long time and have just gotten worse and came here mainly to here stories and get advice."

You wrote that you are here to 'get advice'

so I am going to run with it.

What are you doing to help your condition?

best wishes, Ladybug

Edited by bpladybug

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Lady, I'm on about 12 meds a day, some several times a day. Now that I'm on medicaid, I cannot find a shrink to save my life. The last two I saw sine May of 2011 said my conditions were 'too acute' and they not only couldn't help me, but a behavioral center and stress center couldn't help either (been to both many times). I'm totally lost. I was hoping I could find someone on this site who has or had similar problems I could talk to, but so far, no luck...but it's most likely my fault. I take about 12 meds a day and have lost ALL contact with reality. It's been gradually happening for decades, but has hit it's apogee, I also have physical problems and have to go in for a third back surgery.

I'm afraid I'm snapping out of my isolation and becoming more coherent of what's going on and afraid of not only dealing with it, or not dealing with it...giving up.

I'm just very scared and could use just one person to listen.

I've been in isolation a long time. I'm so agoraphobic and socia/sociophobic, I don't even answer the phone. Except for doctors on occasion, I go literally months without talking to anyone...I am terrified of people! I'll go weeks without having the computer on or go outside, I even have tape/paper on the webcam because I think people can see and monitor my every move. Wheni it comes to doctor appointments, I have to schedule them at least about 2 weeks in advance to prepare myself, then I have a hard time even opening the door. I have to eat about 10 mgs of klonopins just to get out the front door. I go literally weeks or a month without brushing or bathing. I have catatonic times often. Other than the last few days, I could go back into hiding for weeks and you won't hear from me.

Yes, I'm very confused and need help.

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I sent you a PM - I'm rubbish at replying to emails. They bing through on my phone, I read them, and I think "I'll reply to that later when I'm not busy." Then I forget. :rolleyes:

Hang on in there, I hope everything's as OK as it can be.

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What I am getting from what I read here is a lot of helplessness. Maybe it's learned, maybe it's just knee-jerk reaction to what is going on. Either way, it's not going to get you what you need.

To be quite honest there are a LOT of people here in very very bad shape physically and mentally. A lot of people with little to no financial prospects, on several medications [into the teens], in and out of therapists, doctors, clinics, procedures, surgeries, etc.

So you aren't alone there.

If you reach out, instead of begging people to pull you up out of your hole, you may find something here for you.

But coming here, vomiting up your problems and then sitting back, arms crossed and saying "Well? DO SOMETHING FOR ME!" won't get you much.

Start by interacting. Read the boards. Respond here and there. Learn others' stories.

Things will progress.

One step at a time.

The boards are not a cure-all. But they have helped me in the past.

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Guest Vapourware

CB is a place with very helpful people, but before we can formulate appropriate responses, you have tell us what sort of help you're looking for.

What I'm hearing is that you're at a "total loss", but that doesn't really give us ideas about what you actually need.

If you dump a heap of your problems, then sit back and cry, "help!", don't be surprised if the help you do receive is not what you want - because you haven't been specific about what you need. I hope that makes sense.

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What I am getting from what I read here is a lot of helplessness. Maybe it's learned, maybe it's just knee-jerk reaction to what is going on. Either way, it's not going to get you what you need.

To be quite honest there are a LOT of people here in very very bad shape physically and mentally. A lot of people with little to no financial prospects, on several medications [into the teens], in and out of therapists, doctors, clinics, procedures, surgeries, etc.

So you aren't alone there.

If you reach out, instead of begging people to pull you up out of your hole, you may find something here for you.

But coming here, vomiting up your problems and then sitting back, arms crossed and saying "Well? DO SOMETHING FOR ME!" won't get you much.

Start by interacting. Read the boards. Respond here and there. Learn others' stories.

Things will progress.

One step at a time.

The boards are not a cure-all. But they have helped me in the past.

It sounds to me like the dude was just answering LB's questions. Vomiting a response that he needs to pass CB Freshman year before receiving any aid is rather useless, especially since others are coaxed out and helped in their first thread. I think you just don't comprehend that this person is anxious, unsure around people and uncomfortable with what to say.

Anenome, inhale deeply, talk about a particular problem and explain what would be helpful to you. There probably are people here who are experiencing something similar or have been there. Right now it sounds like you have tooooo much fighting to come out at the same time.

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It sounds to me like the dude was just answering LB's questions. Vomiting a response that he needs to pass CB Freshman year before receiving any aid is rather useless, especially since others are coaxed out and helped in their first thread. I think you just don't comprehend that this person is anxious, unsure around people and uncomfortable with what to say.

Thank you, you've been rather enlightening.

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1. Paranoia is tricky on CB, because users often have their own issues and don't post every day (like I post about once a week).

2. Some people don't want private conversations. Make a post (or a blog posting) about what you need help with, work through, etc. and people will reply with their thoughts.

3. We are not a hand-holding site. We may call you out on some things. We know what we are talking about, so really look at what we're saying. Some of the most helpful replies I've received we're not "positive" replies.

Welcome to CB

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Anenome,

maybe you could pick one issue, such as social anxiety for example,

but which ever one will be the most comfortable for you

and go to that forum, read the others posts and replies,

and then post more specifically on that one issue

Medicaid and psychiatrists - yes it can be an issue, a difficulty to find

a shrink who takes Medicaid

it is hard, and probably varies in different parts of the country

Edited by bpladybug

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About the psychiatrist issue, do you have a psychiatric ward in your area that has an outpatient clinic?

If you haven't checked out that avenue, it is one a lot of people don't think of at first glance.

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