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g8orgirl

Have you even been rejected by someone because of your diagnosis?

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Just wondering how many of you out there have been rejected or discriminated against because of your illness. For me it only happened one time and I still dwell on it. I was dating a guy who was a police officer and I disclosed my illness to him, probably too early in the relationship. The only reason I told him was because he was talking about this call he went on where he had to deal with a mentally ill person and he was a little derogatory concerning that person. I guess I felt like it was my place to let him know that just because someone is mentally ill it doesn't mean they're a bad person or "crazy". After that he basically stopped talking to me and I find out from an ex-girlfriend of his that he was freaked out by my illness. I'm married now to a wonderful man who accepts me and my illness and has been there for me throughout multiple hospitalizations and breakdowns. But I can't help but feel wounded because of that other guy.

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oh huney that JERK did u a favor! Now u have a wonderful husband and he is probably with some poor girl who he cheats on, lies to and talks down to-he's a narccissists. Good riddance!

Did you do anything different this time? And congrats!!!!! :D

Oh, but YES...I certainly have lost a few.....

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Yeah I am glad it didn't work out, kind of sad that he's a cop and part of his job is to deal with the mentally ill.

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I've been rejected plenty of times because of my illness but frankly I would rather get it over with quickly than having to tiptoe around and hope that the "right" time comes up. I instituted a policy a few years ago where instead of a first date, I take the person out to coffee when they ask me and I let them know all the dirt. Then I tell them it's up to them, no harm no foul, if they want to keep it up and see where it goes. Some people never call back. Some people date me for a while and the relationship ends naturally - but I feel that it's fair so it's not sprung on them.

And the last time around it worked out pretty well for me. My partner is wonderful and never thought twice about not dating me because of my illness. I would say, if you can, resolve within yourself that it's not your fault that he did that - if he's got a problem with the mentally ill, it's his deal, not yours. I'm so thankful that you met a wonderful person that loves you, though.

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When I was dating last October, I had two instances of a guy ditching me after finding out my illness. One was especially hurtful as the guy said that he was ok with it and led me on, then the next day dumping me through email for a dumb reason. When I replied calling him out on it he replied with a nasty email that it was really my illness.

When I was 18, a lady that I had to talk to in order to do work-study at a hospital was nasty about it but I don't remember why she had to know.

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I've been rejected by various pdocs repeatedly who refused to see me just because I had a diagnosis of BPD with multiple suicide attempts.

Same, but mostly with GPs and therapists, and sans the suicide attempts. Luckily, none of my friends have heard of BPD. I just tell them I'm depressed, it's easier for them to understand and there's less stigma.

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yes for sure

some people can't or don't want to cope with it, or have problems of their own

I understand, because there are things that make me not want to date or hire people too

the man I am seeing now has depression and ptsd. so he gets it. and that helps

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I have been very lucky with my current friends. None of them have any issue with my dx, and they all treat me with respect. They don't truly understand, but they try and they accept me as I am.

But in the past a lot of people wouldn't want to be friends with me because my depression was so obvious. Back when I was at uni, there were a number of people who just treated me like dirt because they didn't understand my depression.

Then more recently, I used to attend what I thought was a support group. But over the Christmas period when I was ill they all turned on me. I ended up walking out on them for my own good. They didn't know my dx, as I usually referred to my shit as 'bad anxiety' (well anxiety is my biggest symptom), but it was obvious that their issue with me was a difference of opinion over what was going on at that time.

I know that if I ever told my family about my dx, then they would use it against me. This is considering how they always behave around me. Again, I cut them out for my own good because I don't need people like that in my life.

Usually I don't tell people my dx until I am certain that I can trust them.

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Most of my friends are great. When I was 24 I told a good friend I had schizophrenia and she hung up on me. What a loser.

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I've always been lucky with friends, but recently i got banned from the studio where i studied dance because of my illness. Which sucks because i'd been dancing there for a long time, then i had one bad episode that my teacher found out about and she decided to ban me indefinately (until she feels i am well enough to return :().

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Just wondering how many of you out there have been rejected or discriminated against because of your illness. For me it only happened one time and I still dwell on it. I was dating a guy who was a police officer and I disclosed my illness to him, probably too early in the relationship. The only reason I told him was because he was talking about this call he went on where he had to deal with a mentally ill person and he was a little derogatory concerning that person. I guess I felt like it was my place to let him know that just because someone is mentally ill it doesn't mean they're a bad person or "crazy". After that he basically stopped talking to me and I find out from an ex-girlfriend of his that he was freaked out by my illness. I'm married now to a wonderful man who accepts me and my illness and has been there for me throughout multiple hospitalizations and breakdowns. But I can't help but feel wounded because of that other guy.

Actually, I've been lucky not to have that problem. It might be in part because I really try hard to hide it. Also, to be honest, people have never approached me in a sexual way much. Dunno why.

On the other hand, I've been conned. My illness seems to leave me open to being abused by con artists and thieves, one being my ex-husband, who wiped me out financially.

Edited by Alexis

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I suppose I have been lucky. My friends have mostly taken my depression very well though my closest friend has gone in the opposite direction: not knowing the signs of suicidal thoughts and not bothering to help when I've been distressed though to be fair that is probably due to her not knowing HOW to help rather than not wanting to.

It's a coincidence that I found this thread as about an hour ago I had my first majorly bad experience. I was talking to someone who has a crush on me and has been talking to me alot lately via social networking even though we go to the same college. Anyway I thought I'd let him know about my depression and I quickly mentioned that inwas on medication. He wanted to know more and before I knew where I was I had told him about my suicide attempts. Apparently it really freaked him out as he imagined me dead, hanging in his room. I kept apologising for that but he started to back out of the conversation as soon as I mentioned that was depressedHe also went on to hint that i was 'mental' in a derrogotary way. I suppose I should be glad as it nips any possible relationship in the bud with someone who didn't understand or care for me so much afterall, even though he was the only one to notice that I looked ill and suggested I see a doctor when I was having a complete breakdown.

Sorry, rant over, that was quite fresh.

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Guest Vapourware

I've been very fortunate in that I haven't been rejected after disclosing my dx to people - they've been accepting and haven't treated me any differently. I guess I'm also fortunate in that my MI isn't immediately apparent and my batshit generally doesn't spill out. Although, there was one time where I freaked out on a close friend, but she took it in her stride and understood I was unwell.

However, before being diagnosed, I had been rejected due to behaviours related to MI. I've lost entire groups of friends due to my behaviour, so my friendships until recently have tended to be short-lived and volatile.

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I have by people in my own family, my cousins used to be very talkative with me, and we had alot of fun when i was younger. But, now that I went to college and faced my issues. They look at me differently now, not sure if it's because they grew up, and figured out stuff or not.

Irregardless, It actually really bothers me that they don't look at me the same way. I'm still the same person. And also, my cousin who was my friend when we were little also kind of dismissed me altogether, I guess I came to his house and i was under the influence of medication at the time(zyprexa) and i was acting pretty strange. But that was a one time incident, I may have said too much personal stuff to him and he uses it against me I guess.

I now no longer really talk to him, and I mean we hung out when we were younger, but we weren't really close friends at all.

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For many years I used to be really open to people about my diagnosis. Unfortunately it took me a long time to realize that there is some serious stigma that exists and that because of my openness, I received a lot of rejection and bad reactions.

From past employers, to "friends", to ex significant others, there have been many instances of being judged and rejected due to my disability. Now, I do not disclose my diagnosis unless necessary or if someone becomes very close, such as my fiancee. I told her about my diagnosis when we went from just dating to deciding to be exclusive. Luckily for me she accepts me for all that I am.

As for employers, I think it's best to not disclose unless absolutely necessary.

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I'm so lucky. My best BFF's always treat me with respect. They know to stay AWAY if I am manic though, they do not want to get dragged in.

Hubby is also my guiding light, he truly gets me.

But yes, I've had people turn me away once they "learn" about me, or I tell t

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