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northcode

Not sure if derealization or something else

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Hello everyone.

I recently met with my psychiatrist and asked her about a certain experience I occasionally have. Sometimes, usually at night, I get very anxious and confused, and sort of frantic. I find it very difficult to think properly or do things, and usually walk around my room or sit in a corner or lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. When I look at certain objects, it feels like they're not far away and I'm looking at them, but they're in my mind - almost too close to my mind, and very clear, like I had been looking at them underwater before and now I took them out and can see them clearly. Or like in every day life I had been watching the objects on a screen and now suddenly I have them in real life. Also, some objects and things feel very threatening to me. Not like they have sentience and wish do do bad things to me, but for some reason I get a feeling of being threatened by certain things, or by everything in my room. I also sometimes find that certain objects that are red or blue are very calming when I look at them (maybe because they also feel like they're "in my mind"), so to calm myself down I'll stare at the object. Every color is very vibrant and "immediate".

Basically, the external world becomes too real and immediate, and feels threatening.

When I told my psychiatrist about this, she told me to look into depersonalization and derealization. The weird thing is that when I'm like this, I don't have any loss of sense of self, or do I feel like the external world is distant or unreal. In fact, it's the exact opposite: I have a pretty solid sense of self, and the external world suddenly becomes almost too real, so much so that it's threatening me.

My question: does this sound like anything you guys have experienced? And does this sound like a depersonalization/derealization moment? I don't quite know what to think.

A thought that popped into my mind was that perhaps I am always dissociative in everyday life, and these are the instances when I'm "back to normal". Except, I feel more-or-less normal in everyday life. Maybe a little bit removed, but nothing extreme.

Background information: I have bipolar II disorder, and there's a suspicion that I have a cluster A personality disorder. Schizoid PD seems to describe me best, but I have a neuropsych evaluation in a month to determine whether I have a personality disorder.

Thanks, everyone. I hope that was clear enough.

Edited by northcode

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I think that you put that really clearly!

I don't really know that much about dp/dr. I can tell you that I sort of fade in and out of being here, though. I think that the world being hyper-real makes sense... it's just not really something that I know.

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You are trying to know what disorder fit in your condition. I am not an expert, nor medic. Ok future medic but thats mean nothing heh. Its known that most of symptoms of despersonalization and dissociation occurs when the person is alone and may little depressed. Also this is very common in teenage. But, like everything else involving our mind, its unique. So, theres not a coexistent feeling over each person for each condition been exacty the same. What the psychology does is get some similar reports and name it for a "disorder". An exemple of this is what occurs with drugs. Take lsd for exemple, the same substance cause enormous different reactions. What I am trying to say is, you possible have a type of dissociation, or what you have is not diagnosticable. You may even have other "rotule". I can tell you that I am able not just to understand your feelings, but also feel it because I've taken a lot of LSD and I felt like this many times. The world seemed more real. Im not saying that you are tripping like acid. But in fact, dissosciation is a "crazy" mode to see/react to world, like what Lsd does. I do think its what your doc said, but only you know how it feels.

Its possible that it has a little punch by you being schizoyd so I would make some questions when it happens

Do you feel excitaded and have difficult sleeping?

Feel racing thoughts or be extremely focused for a simple thing?

Do you get upper senses, like music better, tactical better, smeels, body tics, feelings of pleasure in the body?

This would be a exess of dopamine in your brain, what should be more for a schizo stuff. However, this is common too with just dissociation alone. One thing I can assure you is that your not dissociative most times as you may think, if it was you would go crazy and end up in a clinical. At night you are having a kind of rush and maybe this hole thing is enjoyable for you. Be ok, been dissociative is kind of been intelligent, not a robot like most people are!

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Just to add. My fault, you said its not enjoyable so forget what I said about you like it. Another thing, you may be having panic attacks, they do crazy stuff. So ask your doc about this. There is solution, benzos are great. But they are very addictive though. Cheers

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Is it kind of like being able to see too many details of too many things, and all the textures and colors etc are very hyper prominent?

I've definitely felt that as part of flipping between overstimulated and spaced out when I was having a lot of trauma symptoms. My tdoc and psyNP both would have called it 'derealization'/'depersonalization' stuff.

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Is it kind of like being able to see too many details of too many things, and all the textures and colors etc are very hyper prominent?

I've definitely felt that as part of flipping between overstimulated and spaced out when I was having a lot of trauma symptoms. My tdoc and psyNP both would have called it 'derealization'/'depersonalization' stuff.

but yours went away right?

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Hello. Sorry for the absence. The psychiatrist and I have agreed that my symptoms are probably part of my bipolar disorder; maybe mild psychotic symptoms, or perhaps some derealization due to manic anxiety. These symptoms aren't very common for me, and not immediately dangerous, so we're not extremely worried about fitting a diagnosis perfectly to the symptoms.

Thanks everyone.

Edited by northcode

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I'm glad that you got to talk to your pdoc, and that it was helpful for you.

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sometimes, all of a sudden, i cannot figure out which arm is the signal arm in my car. its like i just can't figure it out.

at this time, i too, believe that i am actually experiencing an awoken state. like, we are so automated with our movements, and then when you are in a present state of mind .....

(need to figure out how to say)

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Hello everyone.

I recently met with my psychiatrist and asked her about a certain experience I occasionally have. Sometimes, usually at night, I get very anxious and confused, and sort of frantic. I find it very difficult to think properly or do things, and usually walk around my room or sit in a corner or lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. When I look at certain objects, it feels like they're not far away and I'm looking at them, but they're in my mind - almost too close to my mind, and very clear, like I had been looking at them underwater before and now I took them out and can see them clearly. Or like in every day life I had been watching the objects on a screen and now suddenly I have them in real life. Also, some objects and things feel very threatening to me. Not like they have sentience and wish do do bad things to me, but for some reason I get a feeling of being threatened by certain things, or by everything in my room. I also sometimes find that certain objects that are red or blue are very calming when I look at them (maybe because they also feel like they're "in my mind"), so to calm myself down I'll stare at the object. Every color is very vibrant and "immediate".

Basically, the external world becomes too real and immediate, and feels threatening.

When I told my psychiatrist about this, she told me to look into depersonalization and derealization. The weird thing is that when I'm like this, I don't have any loss of sense of self, or do I feel like the external world is distant or unreal. In fact, it's the exact opposite: I have a pretty solid sense of self, and the external world suddenly becomes almost too real, so much so that it's threatening me.

My question: does this sound like anything you guys have experienced? And does this sound like a depersonalization/derealization moment? I don't quite know what to think.

A thought that popped into my mind was that perhaps I am always dissociative in everyday life, and these are the instances when I'm "back to normal". Except, I feel more-or-less normal in everyday life. Maybe a little bit removed, but nothing extreme.

Background information: I have bipolar II disorder, and there's a suspicion that I have a cluster A personality disorder. Schizoid PD seems to describe me best, but I have a neuropsych evaluation in a month to determine whether I have a personality disorder.

Thanks, everyone. I hope that was clear enough.

I've never read or heard anyone speak of this before, and I instantly recognized it. I call it being able to see in 3D. For me it started happening when I was able to break through dissociative amnesia and face a serious trauma. And I know what you mean about it being almost too real. It's intense. It's as if all your life you've watched an old TV and then suddenly, you can see in full dimension, 3D and all the colours are so vibrant. I think it is what normal is rather than a bad thing. The diff is when people always see this way, they take it for granted. Those of us with dissociation are lucky in that when we start to see normally... it's like seeing things for the first time. It's awesome!

When I am able to see in 3D real, I'm usually feeling more relaxed, being able to feel, to cry, to feel deeply and I find it the most wonderful thing. Dissociation is a defense mechanism from a traumatic reality, so it makes sense that when you start to feel connected, real, it feels threatening. I know I go back to the dull flat non-feeling too but the goal is to let go of the fear and embrace full, colour and 3-D living. I hope you get there. Me too! :-)

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but, man, it can be so elusive. i am very aware of it when it is happening. just don't know why there and why now. how to maintain.

just going to keep on trying to figure it out while in it without losing its enjoyment.

you do just feel "normal". and it is great.

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that sounds like derealization. that's what i have all the time. and...i don't really have advice cause i have not clue what to do about it. though from what i've read from the book "feeling unreal" its a defense mechanism against strong feelings of some sort.

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It might be hyperealization? Which isa type of dissociation I think where everything is too real, and like what you were describing.

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