terrydrives1979 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I had an another thread before about " If you feel happier being thin " as in how YOU feel about youself. I want people to discuss with this thread about " how people TREAT YOU after you lost the weight. " Do you find people treat you better after you lost weight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazycatsmurf Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 my weight is a big deal cause im an entertainer i have found that i am treated different but only on a superficial basis its a real big indicator to me when all the sudden these people are nicer to me. the people who know and love me, and i love in return dont care what my weight is. i feel the absolute best intellectually, and emotionally about 10lbs heavier than those assholes think i should be so im making my self happy and i really hope you do too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lysergia Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 yes, i get treated much better when thin. i cease to be an invisible middle aged woman. people talk to me more and smile at me more (and hit on me more). they compliment me a lot and treat me with more respect. this is a real case of people suck. or rather a society that teaches that thin is more vauable sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 When I was thinner people were meaner to me. Like I was the dumb bitch who was only there for her looks and nothing more. There was more condescension, too. People would offer to help me lift easy things like a chair because they thought that I might break under it. Or maybe that is my perception. It wasn't a healthy weight so I was snarky and in pain and in a bad mood all the time. I don't like that people's views of us change based on our external shells. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enlightened_plutonian Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 To be honest, during my thin period people treated me like utter shit. What got to me the most was how nobody took my concerns seriously, like I had nothing to worry about because I was thin. Only I was underweight. They had a go at me for wanting to put weight on, for wanting to get back to a healthy weight where all my bones were not sticking out. They treated me like I was 'weird', like why did I want to gain weight when everyone else wanted to lose weight. I was even accused of being 'her who eats too much', not that the food made much difference. So I guess it was not so much my weight that caused people to treat me badly, but my reaction to my weight. But even so I don't think it is right for somebody to have a go at someone for trying to get healthy. It was kind of like they were jealous and didn't understand that I needed to put on a few pounds. I look back and I would rather forget that time really. These days I am a healthy weight, and if people treat me like shit it is because they would do anyway and nothing to do with my weight. But I am a lot happier with my body and that is what counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maybell Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I usually feel great when I'm thinner, because I'm healthier and have more energy But I don't like how a lot of people treat me when I'm thinner. Specifically, I don't like the extra attention I get from men, which tends to be more sexual, and I don't like the attention I get from women, which tends to be more bitchy. I think the problem is that I have big breasts and curves, so when I'm slim, they are both more obvious and I start getting treated like a dumb whore by people. I feel like people don't take me as seriously because all they see is big boobs. I've been treated differently in jobs, I get yelled at in the street by men driving past, women start getting all possessive of their boyfriends around me...it's just ridiculous. In a way, it feels so much safer to me when I'm overweight, as I feel like my breasts aren't as prominent, plus the overweightness compensates for the big boobs so that I'm less threatening to women and less sexual to men. I don't like being as overweight as I am now, it feels uncomfortable, but I don't want the negative aspects of getting more attention due to weight loss. That's just how it is for me, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliona_lethe Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 I feel better now that I'm thinner and maintaining my current weight. Doing so, I have something daily to do in the self-care department and sometimes, I can use it to gently nudge myself forward. Do I slip up? Yes. Does the depression get in the way? Yes. I also try to be as gentle as I can when I'm having "one of those days". That said, I do my best to keep my cynicism in check. Dynamics in your social circle may change: you may find folks who sabotage your efforts (sometimes disguised as good intentions); you may find the frequency of invitations may change either for the worse or better; you may find a new strain on a primary relationship or across the family as everyone adjusts to new cooking, eating, and exercise habits. With any behavioral and life style adjustment, and with a little awareness, you will figure out who your true champions are. And yes, folks outside of your social circle may treat you differently as well. At least in my experience, people are more willing to engage in small talk with me or flirt with me. They also on the whole give me a modicum of respect and were more willing to promote me at work, or at least don't assume I'm automatically a slow slob with a self-control problem. Did my personality change at all after losing all that weight? Not really. Did all my problems vanish as the pounds melted away? Nope, not in the slightest. Did the world suddenly stand up and throw men and accolades at my feet? I don't think more cat calls and eyeballing count, nor did my social circle suddenly "snap out of it" and treat me how I imagined I would be treated. I'm the same person I was when I was morbidly obese. Just a little bit more wiser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b@shitcrazy Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Some treat me better. And I resent them for it. Others respect the change. And I appreciate them for it. I know that when I get skinnier through harmful ways, I feel a bit queer about accepting praise. I feel best when I feel best and that's ... the best feeling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrydrives1979 Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 I noticed the girl at the video shop smiles and winks at me since I've lost weight when before when I was obese she would keep looking down at the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anesxia Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I used to be huge as a child up until middle school when I became anorexic and things changed a lot. I went from the fat girl boys made fun of to the girl who picked on others and guys wanted in my pants. I don't think losing the weight gave me confidence or even made me happier, it really just made me a lot colder and therefore the people I surrounded myself with were just totally fake. I am no longer super thin, I tell myself I am now only average and I have realized whatever weight I land on people still totally suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrydrives1979 Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 I guess it all depends on " how much " weight you lost and how big before compared to after. I mean if you lost ' 3 kilos ' are people really gonna treat you any different compared to if you lost ' 30 kilos ' ? Sooner or later in life when being big you will wake up and will want to lose weight anyway. (sorry for all the edits) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Sooner or later in life when being big you will wake up and will want to lose weight anyway. And you can support this statement how, exactly? ETA: Sweeping statements annoy me. Not everyone freaks out because they are overweight. Not every overweight person is unhealthy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saoirse Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I receive more positive attention when I am thin (mostly envy from girls). I was never mocked or anything when i was overweight. I just looked chubby. Society is a lot kinder to chubby people than it is to more obviously overweight ones. Sooner or later in life when being big you will wake up and will want to lose weight anyway. (sorry for all the edits) You've clearly never heard of the fat positive movement. Some people are perfectly happy being heavier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrydrives1979 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 Sooner or later in life when being big you will wake up and will want to lose weight anyway. And you can support this statement how, exactly? ETA: Sweeping statements annoy me. Not everyone freaks out because they are overweight. Not every overweight person is unhealthy. Biggest loser? That's what I mean by " big ". What are some positives of being that size? I was that size at one point in my life and I NEVER want to go back to that again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 People don't treat me any differently, on the whole. There have been a few exceptions - people are more willing to share their negative opinions of folks who are overweight to me, which I think is just so much horse shit, and I tell them so. Despite my usual brand of misanthropy, most folks aren't so shallow that all they see is the weight anyway. The ones who just see a 'fat person' are never worth being around anyway, they're horrible, petty, shallow people. What are some positives of being that size? Everyone has their own comfort zone. If someone is happy and overweight, why worry about them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 What are some positives of being that size? The point is, the whys and wherefores of other people's weight is none of your fucking business. You can't make sweeping judgements about people's health or social life based on their weight and expect to be taken seriously. Nor can you use your personal experience as a template for others. Glad things worked out for you, but your experience is not universal. In fact that is a lesson that may prove fruitful for you as you post on CBs: Your experience is not universal. For instance, say you had a bad experience at an ER. Even so, your bad experience does not translate to the entire field of psychiatry being useless to anyone, ever. Stop acting like your experiences are the only valid ones. Just stop it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terrydrives1979 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 For instance, say you had a bad experience at an ER. Yeah, ever since I went from being a size of an elephant to a mouse I find the " ER " is no longer such a bad place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Recluse Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 For instance, say you had a bad experience at an ER. Yeah, ever since I went from being a size of an elephant to a mouse I find the " ER " is no longer such a bad place. Asking Terryderps to stop being egocentric is an exercise in futility. He doesn't understand abstract concepts like empathy or subjectivity. He will return every statement to that effect with poorly contrived sarcasm. In short, Terryderps is a fucking moron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enlightened_plutonian Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Given the choice, I would rather be slightly overweight than slightly underweight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justclaire Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I think that when I was thin (by thin read underweight) people were more interested in chatting to me, I was happier as I had more energy and I felt at peace - except that this weight for my body was courtesy of Bulimia and Anorexia so actually I was in turmoil. I hit a healthy happy weight around four years ago then last year I started on Seroquel and the weight came piling on, I've had numerous blood tests etc but I am perfectly healthy - just horribly over weight. The lure of my ED past is pulling me ever closer and I don't know what to do. My GP Rx'd Orlistat/Xenical but there is a massive shortage in the UK - I've rung round Pharmacies in a 20 mile radius to no avail. I am eating two meals a day now - breakfast and a light tea, and struggling with not purging after each. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirazh Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 IMHO, just because most of the western world is fatphobic, thereby yes meaning you tend to get treated better for being thin, doesn't mean it's right or okay. I get treated better pretending to be a woman rather than asserting the guy that I am, doesn't mean society is right or that it is psychologically healthy for me. I've been 125 and over 200 lbs at my 5 feet 4 inches, and while I got more flirtateous attention at my lower weight I don't consider it 'better' treatment by far, from my personal viewpoint. In my heavier periods I still have no issues making friends, finding lovers, getting medical treatment, etc. Despite how at my heavier weights random strangers seem to think commenting on my food or clothing choices out in public is suddenly okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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