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cherished

Just call me deb (Cherished)

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Depression became a way of life starting in 1994, and remained that way for 9 long years. I began psychotherapy for deep-rooted issues and that essentially was the driving force into a black, muddy world of hospital admissions, institutions, a myriad of medications, and deemed drug-resistant, the psychiatrists threw me to the wolves of ECT treatments. I have zilch good to say about ECT for they proved forever ineffective, causing only long-term memory loss.

Depression, best known of all the mental illnesses, is difficult to endure and treat. It renders one feeling hopeless and helpless. Experiencing a sort of wintry solitude, completely immobilized with any light of optimism dimming. It creates emotional and financial fallout, coupled with a horrible emptiness and black death-like existence. Life tastes sour. The best way I like to in fact express depression is: “when you are able to actually touch the black, depressive fog between your fingers; you identify that death is possibly nearby”.

I lost my career, income, practically my house, all of my friends, several of my family. One family member cut ties with my husband and I, fearful for his children due to my depression. So, at Christmastime, my husband’s name appears on the card – mine is excluded.

I was later diagnosed as Bipolar II, and finally, a psychiatrist came along who knew what the hell he was doing and started me on the road to wellness. I’m on the proper meds now, experiencing a set-back now after being in the workforce for over 6 years now. I am currently on short-term disability with my company's group insurance, then in a few weeks apply for long-term. Also I applied for CPP Disability (Canada Pension Plan), and am on pins and needles waiting for approval (could take 4-6 mos).

My husband of 33 years has been my rock, and stood by me through all of this.

What I do deal with everyday though…..is mental illness stigma.

I am a writer, and author of a blog on mental illness, have done interviews and speaking engagements. My blog is dedicated to the 'stigma' of mental illness and has a popular following (330,000).

Edited by cherished

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Cherished, welcome to Crazyboards. It sounds like you have traveled a very difficult road, and it's impressive that you are here to tell the tale. I hope that you enjoy meeting the CB members, and please be sure to read the user agreement.

I hope you like it here.

olga

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Thanks to each one of you for your kind wishes. I like this site so far. I was a member of another one who had so many rules I thought I was in school! This one seems more casual.

Just wondering if you could have a forum for disability?

Thanks, Deb

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Hello Cherished and welcome to CrazyBoards!! Hope you find is as helpful as I do.......good to have you with us!!

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Hello Deb,

I am new to this wonderful site as well so welcome to you also:) Sounds like you have been through so much. I do wish you the best with everything. Praying your CPP comes through for you and quickly.

All the best to you.

Have a beautiful day,

T~

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Cherished, we do have a forum to help people who are filing for disability. Here's a link:

http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/forum/53-law-money-and-employment-send-lawyers-guns-and-money/

When people want to talk about what it's like to be disabled, or the reaction from their family, they usually post in the forum that applies: we have one for Relationships, one for Family (Feud), and if your topic doesn't fit anywhere, there is always the "Whatever" forum.

Feel free to start a topic, and if it isn't in the appropriate place, one of the mods will move it and leave a link.

olga

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