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hELLO All :) Just wanted to say hi and share my little story

I am a 37 y/o single mom/nurse. For most of my adult life I was dx with Anxiety and depression. I have switched careers teacher to nurse, had many short lived relationships (one was really good and i destroyed it due to my impulsiveness and inner turmoil) And just loved jumping from 1 thing to another in general....

I have been on the antidep rollercoaster for 13 years .(and tried 'em ALL ) But the last 3 years have been Awful even on effexor and Xanax. Panic attacks, self medicating with wine daily. and before my period i was a freakin psychopath. I have gained 30 pounds.I haven't dated in over 2 years. Basically I just worked and took care of daughter, drove her and her friends around, ate and slept. I stopped seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. I also did the crazy moving 3 times in 1 year in 2010. SO>>>I needed to do something drastic!

Recently I had a really bad crisis a month ago (panic attacks, crying constantly, didn't sleep for like a week, almost got in trouble for being late at work, lost control with teen daughter many times and awful night sweats etc etc. I was desperate.I found this great psychiatrist ( I had seem him back in 2000 but didn't do what he told me at the time. ) BUT he has really helped me alot. He has 40 yrs experience and is also really caring and gives u samples etc. And he listens, and really knows his shit. He put me on Abilify 5mg for what he calls BP "mixed " episodes and Lamcital- titrating from 25mg to 150 very slowly in case of the rash. This was of course, After we spoke (mostly I spoke/rambled for 45 min) and I filled out a short questionare. I was kind of scared of the side effects but he told me there are more s/e to many antidepressants and started me on a really low dose, He told me to wean off my antidepressant(effexor)slowly and I can still take Xanax if I need it. I don't know if it's too soon, but, aside from a bit of insomnia at 1st, I AM FEELING A LOT BETTER. I am feeling happier and more normal, a feeling I haven't had in a long time. I'm motivated, the crying spells stopped. The anger/irritability I used to get ....(believe me my 16 y/o is not easy to deal with, and she has the same shit I have) has improved greatly. I can now deal with her in a more rational, calm, non-emotional way . She has been on Zoloft for a yr for panic and depression.It worked at 1st, but now its not doing shit. I had just about given up on medication, but this man has been a life saver! FOR THE 1ST TIME IN A LONG TIME I FEEL HOPE :)

Edited by Amethyst674
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I hope the lamictal keeps improving your mood. Yes, mixed episodes are very difficult and painful to deal with. I too have a teenager and a tween and know how difficult it can be to be a parent and deal with mood episodes.

Keep in mind that you have only opened the door to the kingdom of mental meds, so please communicate any needs with your pdoc in regards to any mood symptoms you have.

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