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    • By Blahblah
      Forgot to take Lamictal yesterday (I took my other meds). Holy Hell, I took my dose today (on schedule) and I STILL feel awful!!  I've only been on 100mg....I thought Lamictal had a super-long half-life? Yesterday went like this:
      10am - up, had breakfast
      11am – slight Brain “swishes” started (was out the entire day)
      12pm – Stronger Brain zaps start
      1:30pm – Lunch (meat, salad/veg)
      2:30pm – Sudden extreme exhaustion
      4pm - more brain zaps =>  ZAP ZAP ZAP! 🤯
      7pm - Irritability starts
      11pm – Tea, bedtime, could not fall asleep (I haven't had insomnia in 2+ years)
      ...Night sweats…Restless legs.....
      12am – Ruminations, feel weepy
      ..Insomnia ensues…(Toss & turn, sweaty/achey all night)
      It's now 12pm,and I am STILL having brain zaps! I worry I’ll never be able ever taper, switch from, or withdraw from this med. You probably think well, with MI, WHY would you ever go off it? For me, longterm, these meds are band-aids. There is always a price.  Ok, maybe great at preventing acute/severe depression, but as a result, they rob me of any spark, joy, elation, happiness, libido, sexual sensation/response, feelings of reward, love.... This disturbs me. I used to know what positive emotions felt like…
      So I’m stable, existing.....but still lacking will or any interest in living....
    • By Blahblah
      Good God, my habitual oversleeping is worsening.....I literally cannot get up before 11am. I know this is probably due to the fact that yes, I'm depressed and do not have anything of purpose at the moment to wake up for.....PLUS winter weather that's dark as Hell.....PLUS on a stupid stimulant break, until I can get in to see pdoc in 5 days.
      Are there any other tactics you've used?? I'm going to bed same time every night (by 11pm). I sleep really well entire night. WTF.
      I tried a sunlamp thing in the past and it made me headachey & irritable. Even when I go for walks during the day, it doesn't help.
    • By Blahblah
      Starting this thread because boredom, idleness, lack of stimulation is often a key trigger of depression and bad habits. When I get bored, I feel an emptiness, uselessness and physical/mental lethargy, cue ruminations, then I sleep excessively. This isn't always fatigue: It's an automatic (and very negative) avoidance behavior.
      This link lists 150 ideas (from high effort to minimal effort - from "fun" to mundane) in order to build healthier habits. I need to stop waiting to "feel good" before taking any action. Any thoughts?
      https://www.developgoodhabits.com/what-to-do-bored/
      Today, I:
      Journaled, Cleaned my desktop, Backed up computer, unsubscribed to some junk email, Did some stretching, called a relative, dealt with an admin issue, read some blogs about depression, provided some words of support/appreciation for someone.
    • By Blahblah
      Any opinions on parsing out differences between these, and treating each each symptom?  Is this still depression? Is my brain rendered dysfunctional without stimulants now??
      I have chronic depression (dips down here & there), but then it always goes back to this level (nearly a baseline for me). I'm tired, blah, SO LISTLESS and all I want to do is lay in bed all day, comfy & nice. Today, I managed to go out to get groceries (was out of TP for crikes sakes), showered, then back to bed resting & staring at wall. No interest in listening to music, trying to read made me drowsy....
      Not sad, not thinking of anything... just lying in bed, with no wherewithall or motivation to get up. Other factors: Winter weather, I've been on Ritalin break for 1 month.....Problem is, the last month on holiday, I was fine, active, good mood and had energy!! Blood tests are all normal. What gives?
    • By candi71
      I am so very lost, angry, hurt, depressed, explosive, and drowning.  I was put on latuda or my bipolar and depression acting up...  I hate new meds for this reason.  I started having my ptsd dreams again, ate everything in site and craved sugar omg terribly,  have been depressed, cant color which i love to do, just wanna sleep, explosive anger, crying jags, hate life, nothing makes me happy, everything just sucks.  Im so angry cause i feel like i did before i went on any meds, 20yr ago.  
      Im so confused i just feel like im grasping at air.. I was in the er the other night and they basically sent me home after giving my dose of larzapam i didn't take in the afternoon cause i doesn't help.  My theory of   it is it didn't help before the latuda what is gonna make it work coming off latuda or after off.. I remember why i drank now.. I didn't need to feel this then.. I want to drink so bad and wont cause I've been clean 6 yrs April will  be 7 and i worked to hard to get here and refuse to prove others right.  Im so so messed up i cant sleep cant watch TV cant color yet dont want to do any of the above either but if i dont sleep i hurt... has anyone felt this way..  It sux cause the battle to find meds to work will start tomorrow cause my liver doesn't process meds it flushes them out.. oh well sorry just needed to vent and hope someone can help
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