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Hey there.

I'm a 22 year old female borderline (as I suspect) and social phobic. I've been treated for bulimia, substance abuse, and bipolar (I'm a college psych major and I've done a lot of research trying to figure myself out, but my psychiatrist did not listen to me when I tried to tell her my mood swings were too quick for bipolar). I started having binge eating issues when I was about 12, which progressed to more emotional issues, bulimia, alcohol and drug use... it's not a fun life. I left my last psychiatrist because (like I said before) she would not listen to me and seemed extremely apathetic and irritated with me all the time (I don't really blame her, I feel the same). It seemed silly to keep spending so much money to get help from someone like that.

I still live with my mom, who can't stand me because I'm so moody. But I can't afford to move out because I spend too much on booze and drugs... I've had the same job for 4 years, and a really cool dog who's my best friend. Those are about the only things I have going for me. I have no friends outside of the people I talk to at work and at class, a few ex boyfriends I occasionally hookup with, and the people who I buy drugs from (some of those people overlap). I escape in music and drugs. I've been known to self-injure or threaten suicide when things get really bad. I guess that's all. I'm not really a bad person, I'm just looking for some support and advice. I don't know where else to go.

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you're in the right place anyways :)

started here too few weeks ago and its helping me being in and out of here, knowing that other people have gone or are going through the same

welcome to CB

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welcome fuck, no that is not right

welcome system, that sounds like something tech

welcome fts, that is good

you know, honey, your mental health problems are NOT being helped

by the alcohol and drug abuse

Edited by bpladybug

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Welcome to CB. I'm glad you found us and I hope you find this a positive atmosphere.

You will see that we are pro-medication and pro-therapy and in favor of a healthy lifestyle. Drinking and doing drugs won't do much to help you treat your MI issues, as I'm sure you know. If your pdoc wasn't competent, find another one.

olga

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hey fts, just a note.

First, I am a teetotaller & have been for 19 years.

Second, before I started receiving psychiatric help, as much as it hurt me & as much as I endangered my life and the lives of others, I could not have survived without alcohol.

Lastly, this is a great place to start. You will undoubtedly need real treatment but you'll get support here & that is a wonderful help. There's a lot of hope.

Edited by sheila2050

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Hey guys,

Thanks for all the welcomes, it means a lot to me.

@bpladybug: Right on. My username come from one of my favorite hardstyle techno songs which is actually called "FTS" :)

@sheila2050: It's really inspiring to hear someone who's recovered after having been where I am currently with my alcohol abuse! Congrats on 19 years :)

@everyone: I know substance abuse isn't going to solve any problems for me, but I don't know what else to do with myself while I'm trying to get up the courage to hunt down yet another psychiatrist (I've been through 4 now...). I hope I can get advice on where to go from you guys on the CB.

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