Bernard Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself. I quit Facebook at the start of Lent (February 13) and only now has someone noticed. I'm not a silent participant on Facebook either. I frequently use it to message people, post status updates, comment photos and the like. For no one to care or notice makes me feel awful. It shouldn't matter, but it does... And I hate it. </end vent> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazycatsmurf Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 people care i just started a facebook page and its really overwelming to see everything that is there. i admire your dedication to your religion! good luck and best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kskjndndsjdsn Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 poor thing... sorry you feel like that... it really sucks... i dnt think that your stupid for feeling like that is very understandable... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I've used Facebook for several years and some things I've noticed are... + Most people have lots of "friends" on their list. It's common to see people with 100+ people on their list, at least. Which means if one person drops off the radar, then it's not likely to be noticed, even if you are active on FB; + Facebook is a really bad indicator for how much people "care" about you - because aside from information overload, not everyone checks FB regularly. So, people not noticing that you were gone is likely nothing at all to do with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Posted March 24, 2012 Author Share Posted March 24, 2012 I think you're right, Vapourware, but it begs the question why I bother with FB at all then, if that's the case. You know? I had planned on re-activating it after Easter but I think I'll leave it off now. I can't be investing time - even if it is only a few mins p/day into something that is so pointless... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 It's a lazy way for me to connect with people, which is why I have FB. I guess I don't give it a lot of personal weight though. I view it as a networking tool, not something used for meaningful communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatty Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I hate facebook, myself. I'm sorry you got hurt by that Bernard, that stinks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Bernard, try not to let it upset you. Facebook "friends" are not real friends. Friends are the people you meet and have a relationship with in real life. Those are the ones who matter. Those are the ones who care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 I imagine facebook is something you enjoyed if it's what you chose to give up. I rarely go on and i wouldn't notice if someone stopped posting/quit. But, my niece has a new baby that she posts pictures of and I have a few friends who post articles I wouldn't have seen otherwise, so I find it useful. I've given up on the games. I'm sorry you feel hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Some (or all) of you are going to think this is bitchy, but.... Facebook has a lot of problems, and at times really pisses me off. But to imply people who use it automatically have superficial relationships, or can't be "real friends" is bullshit. I am genuinely sorry that any of you have difficulty with it. But it is worth noting, a lot of the people on CBs who have trouble on FB also have trouble with socializing IRL. FB's constant changing of format makes it difficult to follow what is going on with people, even very close friends. It is very hard to keep track of status updates unless they are towards the top of the feed. It is hard to know if someone is missing, or just buried amongst games and groups, political stuff, etc. So I look up the people I am closest to every couple of days, and see what they have posted, and they do so to me as well. I have over 300 friends, and a conservative estimate is that I know 70% of them IRL, the rest from forums such as this one. A lot of my friends are from law school. I also went to the type of University where people tend to scatter to the four corners of the Earth once they graduate. I also went to a boarding high school. Anyone from there who requests it, I automatically friend. While they weren't all my best friends in the late 70s, they have grown up very nicely for the most part, and there is definitely a familial element to having lived there together. The rest are people I have "met" on forums exactly like this one (of course, different topics). Not to mention, several people in the Facebook BP group I used to follow asked to friend me when I left over not being allowed to correct falsehoods about medication because it was "mean." I don't consider their desire to friend me a matter of laziness or superficiality. My extended family also lives in Peru, Latvia, South Africa, Israel, and Australia. Yes, I may see a fraction of them in the next 30 years (hopefully) of my life, but most of them I will never see again. In fact, CBs is actually the one forum in which I know no one IRL, other than my best friend, and a friend of mine who died over a year ago, both of whom I referred here. Do people on here "not matter?" Do you consider none of your relationships on CBs as "real friends?" Maybe I am strange, but I do think I have friends on this board. I don't understand why people choose to continue to use Facebook if it is so emotionally distressing for them. I never used my Myspace account, exactly because I found it stressful and confusing. It is supposed to be fun, and there is no requirement that you stay on any social networking site if you are unhappy. Facebook is just a tool. To use it if it makes you miserable just seems self-defeating to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enlightened_plutonian Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 To be honest, one of the reasons that I stopped using Facebook (in the autumn I think) is that 99% of what was posted was stuff that didn't interest me or I could easily ignore. Plus the fact that 99% of my 'friends' are people who I have no connection with (a couple of real friends are on there, but I can see them in person or talk with them on the phone). So to me Facebook is one of those pointless distractions. Judging by the replies here, I would say that my opinion of that site is far from being just mine. Maybe your friends have also decided to take a break, or usually ignore most of the posts. But equally good on you for giving up FB for Lent. I know from when I first joined the site (when I was at uni first time round) that it can take up a lot of time on something that doesn't really matter. I would say that it is not you at fault, but the nature of FB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernard Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 Yeah, to be honest I think I over-reacted. I know that I don't keep track of all my friends in there. I also know that most people on there, I engage with regularly irl anyway. I guess I was just in a mood about it. I mostly gave it up because it was irritating me and adding to my already problematic moods. You're right, if it is unhelpful and negative it is indeed self-defeating. I'm happy enough without it for now. So, I'll stay off. But it feels like Christmas cards in a way - I send them every year, and every year get one or none back. I don't cope well with that sort of thing. But unlike Fb, I like writing and sending Christmas cards. Thanks for the input, feedback, kindness. Bern feeling blue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
december_brigette Posted March 25, 2012 Share Posted March 25, 2012 Hi All, I love facebook (minus the new "timeline" thingy). I would break down my friends as: 40% from college 30% from high school 20% family & extremely close family friends 10% people from CB, friends of friends, people I met one time, etc. When I log into FB I know I'll joke around with others, talk about current events, talk about people's work-businesses, friend's events like art shows or poetry readings (and i always tell myself Im gonna go and don't). All my friends live in the computer, db Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.