Jessicka Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Hi, I'm Jess. I'm 25 years old, and female, which in my opinion is occasionally reason enough to consider myself crazy. I've been lurking around the forums for some time now. I'm gonna go heavy in the confessional here and admit that mostly I was just reading posts to reassure myself that I'd "really beat" my issues. Not in an judgmental way or anything. I don't have any official diagnoses because I've never been able to afford to see a professional. I struggled with self-harm from an extremely young age, as in way too young to even understand what I was doing. I'm sure it's not surprising or at all unique, but I've had a pretty effed up life. Three years ago I finally managed to quit all of that, or so I thought. Anyway, I've been dealing with some serious self-harm impulses lately. Nothing particular has brought it on, it's just randomly there again. Tonight I came to the realization that I'd never really beat it at all, I'd just gone from seriously injuring myself to little tiny pains that I didn't even recognize as "harmful". And so I'm here, hoping at the very least that someone understands what I'm going through, and admitting to myself that for all of the sweat, tears, and willpower I've put into fighting this on my own I haven't managed to totally recover, or even come that far from where I started. But dammit, at least I made it this far. Now I'm just trying to keep myself together and figure out where to go from here. Thanks to the powers that be for creating this little corner of the internet where it's perfectly acceptable to admit that I'm still totally screwed up in the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninetynine Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Hi & welcome to CrazyBoards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedoubt Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Whenever I see someone write "delurking," I always think of it as "uncloaking" a' la Star Trek. Welcome to CB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Welcome to our happy home. You don't have to be a diagnosed nut to be a nut, right? I'm glad you found us and I hope that the members and mods in the SI forum can give you some support and advice. I don't know where you are located, but have you checked for sliding scale counseling services with the county Mental Health Department, or the Dept. of Social Services? There might be a way for you to see a therapist without paying an arm and a leg. Be sure to read our user agreement. I hope you like it here. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digger Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Welcome to CB.Hope you find what you need here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rowan77 Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Hello Jessicka and welcome to crazyboards!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hallowedink Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Welcome to CB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Hey Jessica, Welcome to CB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 Hey there! Welcome to the boards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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