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Well, it's about time I said something about myself

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Hi, I haven't read the other introductions so that they would not influence me. I've had various diagnosis since 1989. The first thing that started was panic attacks. I didn't want to dope myself like my mother had done, so I just did cognitive therapy which landed me in a mental institution on 1991. I had a full blown mixed mania episode.

I went back to work and I did fairly well until 1994, when I went supernova with a full blown manic attack. The doctor was slowly taking me off the meds because I was doing so well after getting divorced. Well, when he told me to raise them again, I didn't and lied to him. Next thing you know, I am found naked in the parking lot to save the world (I didn't fix it, I just saved it ok?). The little red truck came made me dress and 'took' me to the county's mental hospital.

Back on meds, and I learned a few things:

1) do what your p-doc says even if you don't like it

2) if you are in such disagreement with p-doc change, but do so in an orderly fashion and not when you are in the middle of an episode. That is a very serious decision.

3) Never, ever listen to what the voices tell you, they all lie. They know you well and will tell you only what you want to hear

4) Just because you hear voices when you are very high does not mean you are schizophrenic. If you are very high, all hell can break loose and anything goes.

I've been compliant and no hospitalizations since 1994. However, unfortunately for me, after 22 years in my job I found my boss' best friend hiding 3 million dollars worth of fraud. They fired him, my boss set out to fire me. I really don't know what happened. They told me that I had made a 'sarcastic' comment to someone and that if I did it again, they would fire me. For one year they kept me that way. They wouldn't give me additional projects because I was deemed incapable and I was afraid for my job. My medication had to be increased and I lived in constant fear of saying something that may offend somebody. I was never told who reported me and what had I said. They gave me a lousy review and no bonus and 6 months later they had layoffs. Since I was a poor performer, I got laid off.

Unfortunately, that left me very paranoid. I am not a paranoid person, however, that was my achilles heel. I constantly live with the fear that I will say something that would upset someone. So, when I get kicked out of the chat room, I immediately panic. I took all the papers to social security and I got my disability. I still have all the papers, however, because I signed the severance package, I can't sue for harrassment or discrimination. This is one of the largest corporations in the United States so I can't do anything else. I've also tried to work and I get very paranoid.

Other than that, I am married to a man who doesn't speak English, so I don't know what they play on 'english tv' I don't know what is going there. English is my preferred languange (even though I was born and raised in Cuba). I am open to all religions and whatever decisions people want to make. That's why I have chosen to stay in this country. As a rule, I don't get involved in politics or religion because they lead you to disagreement and we go back to paranoia.

My biggest challenge right now is to sleep. I have recently been diagnosed with sleep apnea. I have named my c-pap machine Cindy and we are having a little problem adjusting to each other. My sleep is rather erratic for now.

Also, I should warn you, I have a very 'unusual' sense of humor when it comes to Mental Illness. My theory is that if you can't laugh at yourself, you are going to have severe problems adjusting to yourself. But it seems that around here we have people that see it that way as well. When someone is down, help; but if someone is ok, hey we might as well play.

Oh, one last thing. The only therapy that works for me is Logotherapy (Viktor Frankl & Fr. lgnacio Larranaga). I am currently involved with a very good p-doc and t-doc and that makes all the difference.

Any questions, write me.

One last thing...I do not like discussing Communism. You have a right to be a communist but I don't want to know about that. It has caused me way too much pain.

Good mental/dental health to all


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Hey Yaracuba and welcome to crazyboards!! I spent 2 weeks on holidays in Cuba in 2004 and loved it!! My brother and I drove around different parts. I'm not good at remembering place names but Havana, Trinidad, Vinales and Matanzas are names of places that I remember. It was one of the best holidays I ever been on!!

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I'm glad you liked it. It is a very lovely island and I miss it a lot. Unfortunately, I can not return because there was a political issue with my family and I had to leave when I was 12 and can never go back (until it is allowed). Christopher Columbus is quoted as saying "this is the most beautiful land man has ever seen"


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