No one likes me

[niko]

I only have two friends, and they mostly spend time with me because they know all about my mental health issues and feel bad for me. Other people just judge me all the time. Most won't even talk to me really.

I'm bad at social stuff. I can't even talk about normal stuff people talk about because I don't have anything to say. When they talk about parties and friends and relationships, what am I supposed to talk about? I don't go to any parties. And I never had a relationship.

I hate being at the bottom of the social hierarchy. No one takes me seriously. I hate being fat and ugly and being judged for it. Even as a MI person my life would be so different if I were attractive.

I just can't seem to get any new friends. I took a year off uni for health reasons and now people I used to know don't talk to me, and I'm too much of a social retard to talk to any new people. Even when I do I just embarrass myself, and the few who talk to me do so out of pity.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I'm sorry you feel adrift from society. I think you might be jumping to conclusions when you say that other people are judging you, only talking to you out of pity and that your friends only hang around with you b/c they feel sorry for you. They are your friends b/c they like you.

I'm really bad in social situations, too. When I know I'm going to be around people, I usually think up some topics I can talk about. You can always talk about current events, tv shows, movies, books, etc. It also helps to use humor.

Do you have a therapist? This sounds like something that you can work through in therapy.

[scatty]

I agree with PR, that therapy could help with this a lot. I used to feel like I was being judged and things like that. I am socially awkward, and still find it hard to mantain friendships.

[hallowedink]

I'm not sure from your post whether you're still in uni or not, but if you are have you tried joining any clubs/societies to do with your hobbies? That's a good place to find like-minded people.

I get where you're coming from, because I have the same fears that people are talking about me/judging me/pitying me, but I will say that in my experience it's never as bad as I believe it to be. People can be tactless (e.g. stopping conversations when you come into the room. It's usually not that they stopped because you came in. You just surprised/distracted them and that ended the conversation. They probably aren't trying to hide what they said from you.), and if you're sensitive then that quickly translate to people not liking you in your head. I know that's how it is with me.

Also, in terms of friends, I'm fairly certain that they are friends with you because they want to be. Nobody puts in the effort to maintain a friendship with someone they don't want to be friends with. Friendship isn't easy. It's involves having a mutual relationship, giving and receiving... If they are still doing that for you then it's because they want to.