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Hi Everyone!

I am not exactly sure what to include in my introduction as this is my first time posting in a forum! I'll just include why I am here and a little bit about myself! Also, I don't know if this is important but my mother was a severe alcoholic until I was 10 and I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I went through a 2 1/2 year treatment protocol consisting of chemotherapy. I now experience avascular necrosis of the ankles. Basically this means that the bone in both of my ankles is dead, resulting in continuing cartilage loss, pain, bone degeneration and arthritis. Anyhow...back to my brain!

I began experiencing severe OCD when I was 13 years old. This mainly consisted of intrusive thoughts and paranoia. I became highly anxious and hid my OCD for two years, during which I developed rituals to keep the thoughts from occurring. By the time two years had passed I had many different thoughts and rituals and my OCD had escalated. One of my rituals was in the form of constant hand sanitizing. I would bring entire bottles of hand sanitizer to restaurants with my family. That is when they began catching on. I finally told my mom that I thought I was suffering from OCD in the form of the need for constant sanitizing. I went to my pediatrician and that is when my mental health journey began!

From that point I was 16 years old and I sought the help of a psychiatrist who had me on Zoloft and low dose Seroquel. I then developed anorexia and lost a lot of weight becoming 94 pounds at 5'4. Later I became severely depressed and began cutting. I started group therapy and counseling. I have been through quite the mental health whirlwind. I was admitted to a psych ward in October after cutting myself with a kitchen knife. It was then I was diagnosed with MDD. I have been through counseling, psychoanalysis and now CBT. I have tried what seems like every medication possible. I am now a 17 year old girl on quite the cocktail of meds. I still don't feel "normal" but at this point I don't know what normal is anymore.

The main issues I struggle with today are my depression, social anxiety and eating issues. I don't know whose opinion to listen to anymore as I have been to many different psychiatrists and they all seem to have different treatment plans. At this point I feel stuck. I joined this site to connect with others who may be able to relate and to ask for others opinions/experiences.

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Welcome to our home on the internet, and I hope we can offer you some support. It sounds like you have been through a lot. I imagine it must be very upsetting if the doctors all have different ideas of how you should be treated.

Please contact one of the mods if you have any questions.

olga

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Hi Everyone! :)

Thank you for all of your warm welcomes! I am glad to be part of the community! Everyone seems very helpful and encouraging.

db, thank you for the nice compliment on my writing. That was really sweet.

Many thanks again!

Katie

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Hi I'm Rachael, I'm 20 and a former cutter as well. My bf has OCD so I can relate and I have anxiety and depression. I thought I was one of the younger ones on this site, so it's nice to meet another person close in age! (:

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