SR-71A Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Greetings: So, who the hell am I? I am a female in my mid-40s, twice widowed by age 39 [Note: both men died of natural causes... just in case you wondered]. Childless by choice. I have been treated for depression since my 20s, but have had depression, PTSD and anxiety/panic since I was about 6. I take my meds to keep the suicidal thoughts at bay, not bc they make me feel better. All of the above, I can handle and hide quite well. I was actually hired in my current position for my "people skills", heh. If they only knew. What's brought me here: I have become terrified of so many things: mail, phone calls; worst is someone knocking on the door. Most of my anxiety relates to finances and money but not all. I also feel a serious cognitive decline in the last 10 yrs or so, most of all in the past 3 years. It's just a feeling; there's been no testing,etc. Scary. Despite being with a great guy for the last year, the anxiety, depression and self-loathing have only persisted in getting worse. Very troubling. I'm scared and I'm hurting like a mofo. I feel very alone. My bf is supportive, but he cannot fully understand. I came here for the implicit understanding and support of peers. This seemed like a very appropriate place to discuss things. I may lurk for a while, but I'll be reading. Thank you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welshy Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Welcome SR...this is a great place to be. You will find much support here. Wishing you well. Peace, Welshy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yara Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Well, other than being a widow, i have pretty much your background. A little of everything. Read my profile and see if it fits. Whatever you need, we are here. Wish you luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another bipolar bear Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Welcome to CB, SR-71A. Hope you like it here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatty Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Hello & welcome to CB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Welcome to our little corner of the interwebs. It sounds like you have had a lot of loss in your life---I can't imagine the pain of being widowed twice. It's good to hear that you are now in a supportive relationship. Are you working with a therapist? I just wondered. I would assume that you have a psychiatrist since you are taking psych meds, but if you're not seeing a tdoc, that might be an avenue to pursue. I bet you are because it sounds like you have been in treatment for quite a while. Read the rules when you have time. I'm glad you came here. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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