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EndlessStorm

Im just curious if there are bipolar ppl like me

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So I read on here all the time while on forum or looking at others' blogs... People with Bipolar 1 tend to be suicidal or harmful to themselves...

However, I was diagnosed Bipolar 1, and I do get all the manic symptoms except for hallucinations .. I have hallucinated on occasion but its never been anything scary or bad, its usually funny stuff that makes me laugh .. I once had a conversation with Jerry Seinfield and he was blue during one of these episodes... thats basically the extent of my mania.. I have had affairs, blown money, been extremely drug abusive etc.. But never have I wanted to hurt myself or die or harm anyone else for that matter... except for when I had a depressive episode around 15. I do have a lot of irritability and mood swings, i will throw things when enraged or fighting with my DH but thats it. Now, I just know that this is a MI I have and I choose not to let it run my life.. I believe in Jesus and the bible, therefore suicide would never cross my mind, bc I know I would not be able to spend eternity with my husband, and children when ever that time comes.

So I'm just curious if there are people with this MI like me that do not have the suicidal, self harming attributes.. bc if not then I think I might possibly have been diagnosed wrong and maybe there is something entirely else wrong with me. idk.. but im curious to see what some of you have to say.

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No, you do not have to be suicidal, or self-harm to be BP I. In fact, all that is required for a diagnosis of BP I is a single non-med induced mania. You don't even have to ever get depressed at all.

And your psychoses may not have been upsetting to you, but that doesn't mean you were in contact with reality, and not psychotic. It isn't the emotion the hallucination evokes that is the problem, it is the hallucination itself.

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I rarely have depression, and I haven't been truly suicidal in more than 14 years, ever since my son was born and I told myself I'd never leave him.

I had a battle with Self harm, but it was more to punish myself for the "wrongs" I did, than a release of anxiety and stress. Once I learned that SI didn't help me feel any better about the negative things I did, I stopped. I haven't SId in more than two years.

I have had visual hallucinations while manic - once I saw the black Spy v. Spy cartoon character, six feet tall, run across my back yard. I've also seen the linoleum tiles in my bathroom floor turn into faces and start talking to me. These were more interesting than frightening, and I resolved the issue by contacting the pdoc and getting my risperdal dose doubled. Not a hallucination in more than a year.

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I used to self harm and I have attempted suicide (one year exactly since I last self harmed! and several years since a suicide attempt) but my doctors blamed that on borderline personality disorder. (That is sort of a stereotype of BPD)

To qualify as being bipolar you generally need to have a manic episode.

Some people with bipolar hallucinate. I do, when I'm not on the right meds. I have visual hallucinations more than auditory.

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I have had periodic audible hallucinations that accompanied a manic episode and it wasn't really disturbing looking back. Not a lot surprises me with my past behaviors/and symptoms. The most debilitating thing to me is managing my shame for "past behaviors". All other other symtoms applied. Just out of curiosity does anyone else feel like the sane partner in their relationship after they were able to "manage" symptoms? I'm at the point that I look at her, probably as she look(s)ed at me and wonders who that person is. I'm putting forth my best, but we're in roomate mode-non talking type and it's close to mother's day. Any advise or experience to share?

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We are all different!!! We experience a lot of the same things, but things manifest in different ways. There is Diagnostic criteria for bipolar (which you seem to fit the criteria) which i guess, has its variations, and we manifest differently? Which is so important to remember!

What we experience is all different, that is why we come here to share each others stories!!! So we can grow, and learn from one another, and realize we are not alone! But also different!

Just go with you treatment therapy and know you not alone in this, even if we experience it differently

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