Jon Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 36 y/o M living in the beautiful northwest. I was Diagnosed with Bipolar I, PTSD. I'm currently serving in the Military but will soon be medically retired after 17 years. Bummer huh? I was bummed at first, but now I've embraced the fact that I have to reduce my stress levels and "manage" my infimities. I have no doubt that like many here, I have royaly eff'd my life up over the course of the past 5 years. It took that long to diagnose! I cannot tell you the pain and guilt I felt, thinking i I was just a bad person, not knowing I was sick. As you can imagine I left a burning trail of my life 5 miles wide and 20 miles long suffering many manic and depressive episodes. The one thing that scares the hell out of me is that I know that my good paying civilian job will be laying me off this summer. The only reason I succeed in my current career field is because it's related to my job in the military. Kinda like riding a bike with one leg-you can do it but it's not fun. I'm terrified to enter the job market. That will mean change, meeting new people, smiling when I don't really feel like it and actually performing on the job. I am a college educated, but I feel like my capacity to learn and experience new things has diminished greatly. I feel truely disabled. Anyone else have these experiences? On a lighter note I am a really laid back person. Quiet and introspective. I always have been. I put my real picture and name on my profile. I'm not ashamed that I have mental illness, not that you are if you didn't. There are people that have it far worse than I do. Jon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hallowedink Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Welcome to CB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Hi, Jon, and welcome to Crazyboards. Like you, I'm not ashamed of having a mental illness, but I will encourage you to remain anonymous here only because this is a public forum and there are predators and identity thieves everywhere. What we usually suggest is that you can exchange ID information with another member by PM, and I can tell you that several members here know my real name. It's just that once you know my name, you can google a map and be on my doorstep tomorrow, and I'm just not prepared for house guests right now. I'm sorry it took so long for you to be diagnosed. Now that you know what is going on, I hope your life stabilizes. Please read the rules when you get time and contact a mod with any questions. Also, we have a lot of people here who know about resumes and job-hunting, so don't be afraid to post questions in the appropriate forum. I hope you can find a good job to replace the one that is laying you off this summer. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rowan77 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Hello Jon and welcome to CrazyBoards!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedoubt Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Welcome to CB! I can relate to feeling truly disabled. I am actually considered disabled, but it took awhile to wrap my head around it. I have limits to what I am capable of, and needed to face that. I'm a single mom to four kids, and just that is more than enough to handle most of the time. If I were also trying to work full time, I would probably be in the hospital every other month. Bah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Hi Jon and Welcome to CB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatty Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Hello! Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Hey, Jon! Welcome to the boards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antigone Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Hi, Jon. Welcome to CB. I was just diagnosed with BPI last year at 43, and c-PTSD a couple of years before that. I've left a pretty big swath of destruction myself, and could not work to save my life. I am waiting for the government to agree with me after my second appeal (hearing) just this month. You'll find a lot of great support here, good information, kick you in the ass when you need it motivation, and no bullshit. Take a look around and enjoy the dark humor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claire466 Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 HI and welcome to CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 Thank you everyone for the warm welcome, I really do mean that I feel like I have found a great resource, I do not feel nearly as isolated as I have this past year. I don't know anyone in my local area that can relate to what I'm going through. I kinda wish I did have a local BP sponsor! Nice to meet you all!!!! I'm known as an excellent listener, I hesitate to give advice but I will definately offer all my support when I can. See ya round the board? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antigone Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Jon, if you want local support, www.nami.org is a place to find your local groups that will have a local bipolar group you might hook up with. But CB is awesome too, so keep coming back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 Thanks for the warm welcome everyone, I'm glad to meet you all : ) I read all the rulz...I promise to be safe! No one would come all the way to alaska to see me anyways, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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