Jon Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 36 y/o M living in the beautiful northwest. I was Diagnosed with Bipolar I, PTSD. I'm currently serving in the Military but will soon be medically retired after 17 years. Bummer huh? I was bummed at first, but now I've embraced the fact that I have to reduce my stress levels and "manage" my infimities. I have no doubt that like many here, I have royaly eff'd my life up over the course of the past 5 years. It took that long to diagnose! I cannot tell you the pain and guilt I felt, thinking i I was just a bad person, not knowing I was sick. As you can imagine I left a burning trail of my life 5 miles wide and 20 miles long suffering many manic and depressive episodes. The one thing that scares the hell out of me is that I know that my good paying civilian job will be laying me off this summer. The only reason I succeed in my current career field is because it's related to my job in the military. Kinda like riding a bike with one leg-you can do it but it's not fun. I'm terrified to enter the job market. That will mean change, meeting new people, smiling when I don't really feel like it and actually performing on the job. I am a college educated, but I feel like my capacity to learn and experience new things has diminished greatly. I feel truely disabled. Anyone else have these experiences? On a lighter note I am a really laid back person. Quiet and introspective. I always have been. I put my real picture and name on my profile. I'm not ashamed that I have mental illness, not that you are if you didn't. There are people that have it far worse than I do. Jon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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