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I've done it again, and I hate myself as much as I did before, if not more. My brain is caught in an endless cycle.

1) I hate the way I am.

2) Cutting has always helped release negative energy.

3) Cut.

4) Hate myself more because they're gross and ugly and disgusting and ew

Rinse and repeat.

I can't stand myself. I feel weak. I feel like less of a person because I can never be strong enough to recover. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at everyone around me because they know, but can't help.

I just can't do this alone, and I feel so damn alone.

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Sorry to hear you are struggling.

Please know you are not alone, even though it feels that way.

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Guest Vapourware

I understand where you're coming from with cutting. I have similar emotions when it comes to cutting - it's an externalisation of how I feel inside. Sometimes cutting calms me down, but then I feel a great deal of shame about the fact that I'd cut.

Have you tried methods of self-soothing? There is a thread on this forum about self-soothing techniques, so you can learn how to express yourself without cutting.

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@Wooster thank you so much.

@Vapourware I did notice that thread. However, it loads weird on my mobile for some reason, so I haven't had the chance to look through it yet.

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The thing about relapses is they do hit you when you least expect it. Don't give up though and like Vapourware said look into methods of self-soothing and healthy ways to vent your anger.Even if you feel like you are alone don't be afraid to reach out to the people here at CB a lot of us are going through the same struggles

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