toridactyl Posted May 28, 2012 Share Posted May 28, 2012 I'm going to introduce myself without reading any other intros first. Then I'll go back and read the others. Just need to try and be candid. I started getting "panic attacks" when I was 15. In now 31. I've been hospitalized more than a dozen times and diagnosed with everything from GAD to Borderline Personality Disorder. The latest is Bipolar 1 with OCD. I have a degree in psychology. I'm assuming there are many others here with the same degree. Maybe? I don't know what I am anymore because every psych tells me something different. This time around, I do have some faith in my diagnoses because I told my psychiatrist everything. Before her I wouldn't tell them that I had little tics where I thought if I didn't make it through a yellow light before it turned red, it meant I was going to hell. Things like that. I thought any psych would just tell me I'm a certified lunatic and throw me back into the hospital. Anyhow, my history is long and complicated. I'm sure most people here have the same issue. So, I'll just say that I am on Seroquel at the moment, which is "driving me nuts" as I have been working hard to lose the 70 pounds I put on in the past 2.5 years. I had 2 babies in 2 years btw. That's the reason for the weight gain. I'm training for a half marathon and I'm much slower than everyone else. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm on AP's and they are likely rolling out of bed with "normal" brains, to attend meets. It really sucks. I'm also on Klonopin for anxiety, as well as Buspar. We are going to switch me to Lithium soon, after I get my labs done. The Seroquel is making it impossible for me to get off my ass and go get the labs done. Right now I'm in the middle of a mania. I feel like I'm going insane and nobody believes me. They keep telling me "oh that's just anxiety". I feel as if I am walking around in a nightmare. I can't take care of my children the way I want to, because I sleep so much. My husband and I are arguing more than we should be. He is dealing with most of the childcare. This post may be rambly and/or stupid, and is likely riddled with bad grammar and spelling mistakes. Forgive me. The meds are really kicking my ass. They aren't helping the way they used to, either. Did I tell you that I'm 31 now. I'm so tired of fighting this. One non-mental illness related fact about me? I live in Seattle. The weather isn't helping. I moved here 3 years ago. My husband and I are talking about moving somewhere with more sun. I think the weather affects me in a way I can't make other people understand. I'm sure I'm forgetting things. Thanks for reading, Tori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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