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Hmm... what to say.

Well, my name is Randi. Age 18. I've been in an out of treatment since I was 9 - so half of my life thus far. Years of therapy and psych docs have left me with one diagnosis, and half of a diagnosis. Officially, I've got Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and a MD-NOS. They know I have some sort of mood disorder, but what to call it they aren't sure. Based on symptoms, meds, and what they've told me I'm assuming they're throwing around Bipolar I, but I'm no doctor. I've also had therapists mention I exhibit symptoms of BPD, but considering my age, they don't want to label me. I've been tested for ADHD, but the results were inconclusive one way or another (it's hard for teachers to get a read on you when you're the quiet kid in class who never does homework, but manages impressive test scores, I guess).

I've on my third psych doc, (discluding the ones from inpatient, intensive outpatient, and my psych eval from when I was nine.) and my soon-to-be fifth therapist (discluding the in-school social workers I've worked with).

My situation caused me to drop out of high school a year ago, due to excessive absences and failure of the school to properly accommodate me as per my psych doc's request. If I had been classified as a child, as I was suppose to be, things would have went a lot differently. My parents should have pushed the school harder to follow through on their half of things, but what's done is done.

I've been abused by three people in my life, my parents, and an ex-boyfriend. The former emotionally, verbally, and physically, the latter emotionally and sexually. I still live with my parents, but the abuse has largely stopped.

If anyone's curious about my symptoms, just ask. I'm saving space. Sorry if this post is a bit long, but it's the best I could do. Questions are always welcome. Greetings, everyone!

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Welcome to Crazyboards, Randi. It sounds like you will fit right in here.

Read the rules when you get a chance, and let us know if there is anything you don't understand.


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  • 11 months later...

I never really did get involved on the forums. I'd like to, I just have a lot of issues socializing, I guess. In the past year I've consistently seen my therapist every week. I've been on the same medications for almost a year now, despite my insistence (and the evidence) that they are just plain not helping me. I'm wanting to switch psychiatrists, not just due to medication issues, but because of his wacky suggestions, such as going to college (tried that prior to seeing him, dropped out after two months) or joining the military, and sees my frequent bouts of unemployment as a larger concern than any of my symptoms (the things causing these large bouts of unemployment). 


I've been struggling to stay employed - over the last year I've had five jobs. The first lasted three weeks before I quit to take on another job offer. That job lasted 9 days. I was then unemployed until the holidays, when I worked about `15/hrs a week for five weeks before getting sick and being let go at the end of the season. I was then unemployed until the end of May 2013. I stated a job and after two weeks of working, left to start working where I currently am. I have now  worked two days there, and I just no-called no-showed today because I'm a wreck. Checked my voicemail, my boss seems to think I was confused about the schedule, so I guess there's a chance to redeem myself tomorrow if I can get it together and make it in.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar I. That didn't surprise anyone. I was glad to be out of the MD-NOS category though...

I had some psychological testing done - the MMPI-2 and the MCMI-III and then this was reviewed and discussed with me by the psychologist that operates out of my therapist's office. I scored unbelievably high in many areas. He picked up on a lot of AvPD and BPD tendencies and forwarded his conclusions to my therapist and psychiatrist. Lots of depression, anxiety, anger and paranoia. Also according to the test/his conclusions I'm too much of an open-book, whatever that's supposed to mean. Interestingly he says the results showed I had a similar thought pattern to that of a psychopathic deviant (whatever that is) but doesn't think I am one, and that it seemed like I was extremely depressed when I took the test. I actually felt pretty good when I was doing it, so I suppose that's a little troubling.

I had also asked him about my ability to work/hold a job. He said to me that if someone had given him these results and he wasn't aware of my age or intellect, he would say that, without a doubt, I would be unable to work. But due to my young age (19) and high intelligence (not that it ever helps me, with the issues I have) he wouldn't want to limit me.

Sorry, I'm rambling.


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