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Hey everyone.

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Hi. I'm Sara, 25 years old from Sweden. I'm a crazy bitch, though my psychiatrist calls it Schizoaffective syndrome. I've been missdiagnosed before with BPD and a heap of other diagnosises. They just thought that since I cut or burn myself that I just had to be a borderline personality. Nobody really seemed to care until a couple of years ago. Sometimes I think it's too late now, because my experiences that are explained as hallucinations or delutions feels too real, I'm having a hard time to know what's real and what's not.

I started cutting and burning myself at the age of 16, and I stopped for about one year and seven months. I'm engaged to a wonderful woman who also suffers from mental disorders and we both know that in order to make things work, we can't be as self destructive as we've been. Even if I still don't respect my body, I respect my girlfriend and her wishes. The worst thing is when I am told by my gods that I need to harm myself to save others. It's so damn hard to say no.

I enjoy reading and writing. I write poems, short stories and I'm working on a youth novel about a high school massacre in Sweden. I'm very spiritual and I guess I'm a kind of wiccan. I'm very interested in music, both listening to it and to sing and play instruments. Some of my favourite bands are VNV Nation, Alice in Videoland, Lacuna Coil, Garbage, Within Temptation, 047 and Nine Inch Nails. I like all sorts of genres when it comes to music.

I'm taking loads of medicinen which really sucks, there are too many to mention them all. You know how it is, you start out with antidepressive medication and then get something for the anxiety, sleeping problems, for mood swings, for psychosis and a couple of drugs to spare you from side-effects. My dream is to live a good life with as little medication as possible, marry my girlfriend and live a dull, normal life. I miss being bored - I'm always full of emotions.

So, this is me I guess. Ask away if you think I've missed something :)

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Welcome to our happy home. Be sure you read the rules, and please contact a staff person if you have any questions.

I applaud your desire to become more stable, and I hope you and your girlfriend are able to do that.


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