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    • By Blahblah
      Have a strong itch to drop Effexor...(I won't go cold turkey). It stopped my dysphoric crying spells, but now, 10 months later, I'm feeling increasingly flat, apathetic, numb, no motivation (even after dropping to 75mg). I hate how all A/Ds have this lobotomy effect on me longterm. It's initially fine in acute episodes, I'm not sad now, but I can't function properly, and I continue to score Moderate-Severe on the depression scale.
      I think it's counteracting my Ritalin (which I increased to 30-40mg)? I don't want to increase Effexor above 150mg, I'd never be able to go off.
      I'm trying dosing at night instead, will this make any difference @mikl_pls ? I skipped yesterday's morning dose (then came the intense nausea, over stimulation & brain slosh awfulness @10 hours later) and I took my dose with dinner.
      I'm seriously considering going on low-dose mild SSRI instead (Prozac?) I'm sensitive to meds & side effects, and I'm also VERY worried about withdrawals. Especially from Effexor, they are the WORST, and I just read study that Effexor withdrawal syndrome is not dose-dependent:
      https://www.researchgate.net/publication/7402189_Venlafaxine_and_Serious_Withdrawal_Symptoms_Warning_to_Drivers
      https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/24/woman-shares-coming-off-antidepressant-ruined-life-7255570/
       
       
    • By Blahblah
      Forgot to take Lamictal yesterday (I took my other meds). Holy Hell, I took my dose today (on schedule) and I STILL feel awful!!  I've only been on 100mg....I thought Lamictal had a super-long half-life? Yesterday went like this:
      10am - up, had breakfast
      11am – slight Brain “swishes” started (was out the entire day)
      12pm – Stronger Brain zaps start
      1:30pm – Lunch (meat, salad/veg)
      2:30pm – Sudden extreme exhaustion
      4pm - more brain zaps =>  ZAP ZAP ZAP! 🤯
      7pm - Irritability starts
      11pm – Tea, bedtime, could not fall asleep (I haven't had insomnia in 2+ years)
      ...Night sweats…Restless legs.....
      12am – Ruminations, feel weepy
      ..Insomnia ensues…(Toss & turn, sweaty/achey all night)
      It's now 12pm,and I am STILL having brain zaps! I worry I’ll never be able ever taper, switch from, or withdraw from this med. You probably think well, with MI, WHY would you ever go off it? For me, longterm, these meds are band-aids. There is always a price.  Ok, maybe great at preventing acute/severe depression, but as a result, they rob me of any spark, joy, elation, happiness, libido, sexual sensation/response, feelings of reward, love.... This disturbs me. I used to know what positive emotions felt like…
      So I’m stable, existing.....but still lacking will or any interest in living....
    • By Blahblah
      Good God, my habitual oversleeping is worsening.....I literally cannot get up before 11am. I know this is probably due to the fact that yes, I'm depressed and do not have anything of purpose at the moment to wake up for.....PLUS winter weather that's dark as Hell.....PLUS on a stupid stimulant break, until I can get in to see pdoc in 5 days.
      Are there any other tactics you've used?? I'm going to bed same time every night (by 11pm). I sleep really well entire night. WTF.
      I tried a sunlamp thing in the past and it made me headachey & irritable. Even when I go for walks during the day, it doesn't help.
    • By Blahblah
      Starting this thread because boredom, idleness, lack of stimulation is often a key trigger of depression and bad habits. When I get bored, I feel an emptiness, uselessness and physical/mental lethargy, cue ruminations, then I sleep excessively. This isn't always fatigue: It's an automatic (and very negative) avoidance behavior.
      This link lists 150 ideas (from high effort to minimal effort - from "fun" to mundane) in order to build healthier habits. I need to stop waiting to "feel good" before taking any action. Any thoughts?
      https://www.developgoodhabits.com/what-to-do-bored/
      Today, I:
      Journaled, Cleaned my desktop, Backed up computer, unsubscribed to some junk email, Did some stretching, called a relative, dealt with an admin issue, read some blogs about depression, provided some words of support/appreciation for someone.
    • By Blahblah
      Any opinions on parsing out differences between these, and treating each each symptom?  Is this still depression? Is my brain rendered dysfunctional without stimulants now??
      I have chronic depression (dips down here & there), but then it always goes back to this level (nearly a baseline for me). I'm tired, blah, SO LISTLESS and all I want to do is lay in bed all day, comfy & nice. Today, I managed to go out to get groceries (was out of TP for crikes sakes), showered, then back to bed resting & staring at wall. No interest in listening to music, trying to read made me drowsy....
      Not sad, not thinking of anything... just lying in bed, with no wherewithall or motivation to get up. Other factors: Winter weather, I've been on Ritalin break for 1 month.....Problem is, the last month on holiday, I was fine, active, good mood and had energy!! Blood tests are all normal. What gives?
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