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Even though i now know that most of the things i see or hear during my psychotic episodes was not real ,i still cant help believing somethings are real ,i spend most of my time trying to remember or make sense of things that happened to me,but some of the stuff seemed so real i find it hard to tottally dismiss it as me being crazy,does anyone else ever feel this way?thanks

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Yes. There are some things that seemed so real that I'm not sure what to believe. I feel worse when I try to make sense of it. So, I put the thoughts aside and I'm able to go about my day.

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Yes, there are some things I find hard to accept as psychotic symptoms and not reality. Paranoia is particularly hard for me to let go of. I've accepted that I'm going to have these thoughts, they are part of my illness and to just let the thoughts be and go away on their own. If I worry too much about whether or not something is real then I start to think in a delusional and paranoid way, which I'd rather avoid. You're certainly not alone in questioning reality.

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Most of the time I'm able to tell my hallucinations are not real, but sometimes I tend to believe they are real. I've had some pretty strange delusions that I fully believed, and when I got better I was terribly embarassed by them. I hear voices almost every day and have visual hallucinations about once a month. I know the voices aren't real but they seem to have their own distinct personalities, very different from mine, and so sometimes it's hard to believe they are just a symptom of my illness.

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Yes. It doesn't help that my PTSD hallucinations blend in with the SZA and I'm only now getting help for that... Most of the time I can step back and realize that it isn't real. It helps I've had the SZA dx for almost 2 years so I've had well periods of time to learn about my illness.

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I don't know what is real or false... I don't know what ever was real or what ever was even false... I question a lot of the things that happen to me, that I hear or see or experience, but it still makes no sense to me.

I often feel like my perceptions are fuzzy and that I will never have a concrete boundary between reality and delusions/hallucinations.

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Guest Vapourware

I think one of the hard things about recovering from psychosis is to work out what was the psychosis in the first place. I get that when I first get out of an episode - I would still think that some of the beliefs I had were real. For me, it's because when I was having psychosis, the beliefs I had were my reality. They were real to me, so it's difficult for me to judge that it was false. It gets very confusing. I'm coming out of an episode now and I still get aberrant thoughts now and again, which I have to check.

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I struggle with this too.

I find it so difficult to move on from my delusions because they are so real when I am experiencing them. I still feel so much more comfortable using the word 'experiences' to describe my delusions than 'symptoms', as I feel the latter minimises how it actually felt to me. Plus whenever I do come out of delusions then I just end up getting very confused and unsure what to believe any more.

My hallucinations are easier to accept, but even then I still feel that 'how can I see / hear them if they aren't real'.

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I'm Bipolar 1 / Schizoaffective and probably OCD and PTSD depending on who you ask. I had my first manic episode this year. I can attest that those hallucinations, both auditory and visual do seem very real. Mine also merged pretty seamlessly with reality and helped feed my delusions. Some of the auditory especially were amazingly perfect distortions of reality. The only thing that gave away the visuals at all was perhaps they were slightly more sped up than the real stuff, and some just seemed like flashes. I doubt anyone else would have disputed their authenticity, crazy or not.

Yes, I do still think about mine often, especially since some of my auditory stuff ended up to be true even though nobody else heard the same "loudspeaker" I was hearing at the time and it's unlikely it was fed by any outside sources. I wasn't around anyone and I didn't watch TV. I hadn't checked the news online or anything. I still did and said enough stuff to get a stay in the HaHa Hotel. Good thing I didn't tell them everything I was thinking. Good ol' paranoia. My brother was diagnosed similarly years ago so it wasn't quite as big of a shock when it happened to me. Yeah, it was pretty obvious to everyone the space cars really weren't coming to pick me up simply because I was an alien female version of Christ ... or whatever I said to them at the time. It is hard not to dwell on things seen and heard in an episode. I'd share more, but it might just feed someone else's delusions and it is way past my bedtime. Sleep hygiene ... still working on it.

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