Feel different

[Squid]

I've felt different my entire life. Even as a very young child. I was doing origami and drawing still lifes at ages 2-4...and doing them well. I would ignore my classmates and draw because they were rowdy (SO DAMNED LOUD).

Everyone is so damned loud. Even nowadays, people hurt my ears.

I made my first friend in the 5th grade.

Speaking aloud is so difficult for me. I usually just don't say much. Once in a while someone will seem interested in a topic I'm in love with and I'll have a great conversation, but usually fitting in makes me feel like I am grating my brain with a cheese grater.

I excel at math/science/physics/etc, but my ADD is so bad that I just draw in class and remember everything for the final still...if I try to pay attention I fail....otherwise I get 4.0s...I guess cause drawing calms me down. I dont know......

My intelligence is lopsided. I'm working with a rehab counselor, and she had me take an IQ type test to see where I was at, and I had all below average scores (which is new) but my nonverbal reasoning was so high that the test couldn't measure it accurately. So i have a cognitive dysfunction because of that lopsidedness (which ive always had, it's just worse now).

Never been in a relationship. I look good I guess cause girls flirt with me but nothing ever goes anywhere...I have no clue what to say... and I need so much alone time that they flee, lol....

etc etc, holy shit, everybody needs to stop fucking talking so loudly

Anyways, I don't know what's different about me besides the Bipolar disorder...my family thinks something else is going on....I know I am gifted in some sort of unusual way, but......I dunno....I feel alien....I am happy being alone , but I also wish I were able to make friends =[

So iduno if this sounds like autism or something else...perhaps I'm just hugely introverted. I don't know.