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I'm ready to face God at His throne. If Hell is where I'm called to go then so be it. Let every man know that God is truth and I'm a liar. OCD is kinda spiking today because of all these dreams I have been having. But I won't let you say I will lose my crown. Because I know the truth. And i just want to encourage those with pure o. OCD starts to get fewer and far between. My OCD OBsession when it really attacked me was I thought I was dead and standing before God. Now I embrace the fact that no one here nor anywhere else is able 100% to convince me otherwise. I have accepted my fate and I live with it everyday. You fight without fighting.

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My OCD tries to convince me back in 05 I died of a drug overdose. It used to be I would and here's the compulsion! I would say I see my car and my friends surely I can't be dead. Thats the compulsion. I have to man up and say. Well if I am dead I died in my sins and I'm going to hell. Exposure ERP therapy. It's confusing but you seem very nice and sweet in trying to help me. It's alot of thoughts just jumbled into one main theme. Am I standing before God and His throne.? So yes I obsesse whether I'm dead physically or not.

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Ah I see, so you are exposing yourself to the thought that you are dead but not checking your car.

I think I understand where you are going with the acceptance of the remote possibility that you may be dead, but as an aside why would you necessarily go to hell if you died? As far as I understand mainstream Christian beliefs, if you follow Jesus then you are saved not only from sins you have directly repented from. If I tell a lie then get hit by a bus before I can repent, I don't go to hell.

Also I think heaven will be pretty awesome, and hell will suck. You'd know if you were either of those places.

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I just have to accept the anxiety oh uh oh well. I know it's prolly going to be awhile before I rebound and I'm strong enough to really ignore the thoughts but, right now I am weak but I thank everyone who reads this and keeps me in there thoughts and prayers.

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