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This is F#cking ridiculous

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SI, sex addiction, co dependency, control issues, withholding sex......

It's all pretty horrible. I know you were trying to focus on the SO angle, Joachim, but your post really does across as making a value judgment about the things I have listed, even if that was not the main thrust of what you were trying to say. You have the right to say what you say, and other people have the right to question it and whether it is always phrased clearly. That's not being 'chastised' like a child, that is being accountable for what you say, whether you had a different intent or not. We all take what people say up with each other, people challenge me on what I type all the time and I'm the first to apologize and mend things if I have been an asshole or phrased something badly. This is the interwebs, it happens, it's not personal. It's not like you have been sent to the naughty corner.

You may not 'be here' to be challenged like everyone else, but you probably don't need to be here if that is the case. CB doesn't believe that any MI or unhealthy coping mechanism is any worse or better than any other. That's pretty fundamental to how this place works.

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yes, I do feel that the one person who "challenged" me didn't get the right idea about what I said and I did apologize for that and I'm sorry you got the wrong idea too, I'm not a writer and I'll just refrain in the future, however I felt I was being accused of something I didn't do...huge trigger for me, and now,

I feel you're being a little snarky and practically inviting me to leave...why is it okay for that person to say what we are here for and they don't want to see around here? but you're jumping me about it?

I'm probably twice as old as either of you...has it occurred to you that I've experieced all those things?

thanks for your support

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I think when you said that 'I'm not here to be chastised' that sounded like an unnecessary snark, that is what I was responding to. Tryp said what she said because it's a fundamental attitude here, suffering is suffering is suffering, there is no competition of comparing. Tryp is a mod, as am I, so yes, we have the right to make sure that people discuss things in a way that doesn't alienate other people and sadly that has meant Tryp had to call you out. That you took it quite personally as a criticism which triggered difficult feelings in you, that's your stuff, not Tryp's.

I didn't think my age had anything to do with the point I made (or yours for that matter. I don't know why your more years on this planet makes you invulnerable to be challenged.). I didn't say you lacked the life experience to hold an opinion, I said the one you expressed was badly phrased. I don't really know why we are cross purposes here when you have said yourself that you did not mean what you wrote in the way it came across.

No one accused you of something you did not do. Tryp pointed out that you hadn't communicated very well and it read badly. There really is no big accusation about you there. The reason I stepped in is because Tryp is having a monumentally shit time in her life and may not want to deal directly with the snark you directed as her about being 'chastised.' I am sorry you are triggered, but we don't walk on eggshells here and we don't let people compare which MI is worse in case they get triggered by being challenged on it.

There really is no need for either of us to get shitty about this if we think about it. Can this be the end of it?

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