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I am overwhelmed by life and everything about it, and I don't know what to do. I want out. I am so frustrated, I never wanted to be here. What an awful place this world is. How do you all cope and continue on? I don't understand how to anymore, or how I even got to this point. Non-stop blows and wasted effort are not worth the tiny glimpses of happiness I will maybe randomly get someday.

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You probably aren't shocked to hear that those are all symptoms.

Are you on 150mg buproprion, and 150mg Trileptal because you are coming off of them? Because if not, you have room to go up on the Wellbutrin (a fair amount of room, actually), and I think your Tri-leptal is also low, but someone please correct me if I am wrong. I used Tegretol, which is the "old school" Tri-leptal, and I took significantly more Tegretol than that.

Just some thoughts.

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I went down on Wellbutrin for anxiety reasons and just started the Trileptal a couple weeks ago. I've been feeling this way for about a year.

I don't know what kicked it off but my therapist thinks it's due to a terrible family and housing situation, my mom's chronic illnesses, being thrown into the adult world after college and expected to find a new job, hating my recent job where there's nothing to do and I dwell on all things bad, a difficult breakup, almost all of my "friends" crossing my boundaries and taking advantage of me (like being molested at a party when I was severely drunk, high, and sick last week), a seemingly uncontrollable sky-high anxiety lately about everything (I can barely even drive or leave my house anymore), and it's all combining with other little things into such a terrible feeling that I have been dealing with that won't go away. I wake up every morning with dread.

I'm sorry for complaining like this.

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I can relate to you COMPLETELY on this feeling. And I cannot seem to pinpoint it to anything.

I feel like I cannot go on; everything is a painful effort and so very exhausting; everything triggers suicidal thoughts;

I cannot handle stress at all and I am very tearful about everything and sometimes nothing... and I can't explain my feelings

or emotions in words because everything is a jumbled up mess... ugh. I can't stand going on in this life, everything hurts so much.

I hate my job and have alot of financial stress and it makes me just want to die. Everything triggers me to want to die.

The worst part is I feel like it's all my fault and noone cares about me and they have a right to not care about me...

I see no future for myself and wonder why I should even go on at all... I am only causing stress and pain to everyone around me, anyways

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I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way too mochi, my heart goes out to you.

bluelikejazz, I'm having trouble pinpointing exactly what's causing me to feel this bad, but I'm sure they're all contributing factors and my therapist is right. I'm wondering if the problem is due to me trying not to think about them and repressing them, but it feels like maybe there's something else I'm not seeing because I've dealt with many of these situations for years without this low of a low.

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It could be brain chemistry that is off. Hopefully the right med combo will help you feel strong enough to deal with your horrible experiences. I am also massively depressed right now and I have so much sympathy for what you're going through and what you've been through.

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Took the words out of my mouth. I could have written your post.

I took Trileptal at one point, but it didn't help much and gave me a problem with my potassium and sodium levels. Then again, I was barely on a therapeutic dose, if I remember. I believe the Trileptal takes several weeks before you start to feel anything. Maybe give it a bit of time? I feel much like you most of the time, and I know it's hard to feel like it's even possible to hold on another day. I've been playing pill roulette for so long I feel like nothing will ever work.

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