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I really forced my doctors hand with the diagnosis. I think 10 years ago when I was first diagnosed with depression, it was because I didnt want to admit to myself I was bipolar. It was just so extreme. But Lexapro was not the answer. Once I saw I wasnt going to be helped without guidance, its once I really started to take this mental disability seriously. I'm trying to take it head on, I just dont know if im in hypomania right now or not? I dont know if this is how im supposed to feel. I dont really remember what im supposed to feel like. I've been medicated with Lamictal for 6 months at 200mg, now I am on Wellbutrin, 150x2 daily, and suboxone 4mg. Last week I didnt want to get out of bed, I'm on the 5th day of Wellbutrin and I've surpassed that. I've actually had enough energy to go for extensive hikes in the passed couple days. Is this a sign that the Wellbutrin is going to be the answer for my depression? God I hope so. I just hope it happens soon. I dont have insurance at the moment or money to see the doctor. I dont know how I'm going to have this whole medication thing monitored. Is it too early to see if the wellbutrin will have an effect? I'm almost more anxious to see the outcome, but I look at it as my last chance. I need this to work. I have been alcohol free since January, and any type of narcotic (outside of suboxone), since mid-late May.

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Congratulations on your sobriety! To try and answer your question, there's a difference between recovery from depressive symptoms and hypomania. I can't diagnose you, but try to think back to a time in your life before you were depressed. Compare that to how you feel now, if you can. Another thing - manic and depressed symptoms usually interfere in some way with your daily functioning. For example, if you are hypomanic you may be unable to concentrate on a task to completion, or you may make risky decisions or spend your rent money on video games - among other things.

I have found it's hard sometimes to know how I'm "supposed" to feel, like when I go to the pdoc and he asks "how are you feeling?" The times when I can immediately respond "like shit" or "like I rule the world" are pretty easy. It's the times I'm feeling mellow but not depressed that are more difficult to describe.

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Just keep in mind, that if Wellbutrin doesn't work, it's not your last chance with regards to medication therapy. There are numerous drugs and potential combinations that can be of great benefit.

Have you checked to see if there are any clinics for low-income people in your area? I have a similar problem with being able to afford going to my p-doc.

My emergency plan: If things get too bad and I can't afford to see my p-doc, I think I may Baker-Act myself in the local crisis ward to get the help I need. Praying that won't happen though.

You're on the right track.

troop

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Hello, welcome and congratulations on your sobriety!

It may take a little while longer for the Wellbutrin to work, and like others have said, it's not your only option. There are a lot of options out there, and it takes time to get on a combination that works. Being sober could also be affecting your mood, it took me a while to get back to "normal" after I quit using.

Bipolar isn't a death sentence. It's treatable, you can live with it, there are good medications out now, and there are good medications being worked on. The prognosis is much better now than it was before. All the best!

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Thank you guys for support. I did have a bit tougher time falling asleep last night, but overall i feel good today. I can tell my Libido is ski high, where it hasnt been in years, I feel good, and I am able to stay positive. My anxiety was so bad the last couple of days, that I debated stopping, but I know that these meds can help. I'm going to have down days too, but for the first week...ill take it.

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