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The passed 7 months or so, since I've stopped drinking, I've really been non social.

For some reason I just dont like being with other people. Im self conscious beyond belief. Ill get into good shape, and then blow it.

I really need to figure out my personal life, I want to have more friends, maybe meet a girl. I'm not a bad looking dude at all, I just prefer being alone most of the time. I need to figure out how to change this.

I used to be a social butterfly. I knew people all around the city, state and country. I could have run for class president of high school and college (if I was a better student.). Is this part of being bipolar 2? I'm on 200mg of lamictal, 300 mg of wellbutrin, and 4mg of suboxone daily.

Tell me this will change. I dont have the social anxiety of going to the store anymore. But I still get kind of awkward in social settings.

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Bipolar can influence anxiety and depression can exaggerate feelings of self-consciousness. Being socially withdrawn since you quit drinking could be a sign of a mood episode, or it could be behavioral. Did you always drink at social occasions? Then not having that social crutch, so to speak, could be the reason you don't look forward to being out with people.

In general, if you were socially outgoing in your younger years, then that's who you are as your base personality. Hsving bipolar doesn't change that facet of your personality, but mood episodes like depression can make you feel withdrawn and apathetic.

Getting on the proper medication regimine for your particular circumstance is crutial to restoring your innate personality and behavior. Also, learning to socialize with people who don't drink will be a key component in your path.

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I think sometimes, with bipolar, you get to used to the things you feel good about in life, including yourself, being blown to shit, so going out and feeling confident and like people want to be around you is tough. It is for me anyway. It's exhausting and boring to keep on top of the illness sometimes and so I don't feel like the life and soul of the party. However I do know that the good times in life are the ones to snatch and enjoy before the depression appears, so to some degree maybe that forces me to seize the day a little more at times.

But yeah, I know what you mean.

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I think sometimes, with bipolar, you get to used to the things you feel good about in life, including yourself, being blown to shit, so going out and feeling confident and like people want to be around you is tough. It is for me anyway.

This. And now it's programmed into my head "Don't get too friendly with that person, because eventually something will happen and you'll have to tell them you're bipolar. And then they won't want any more to do with you." It doesn't help that my family has written me off for being different and especially since i told my mother about my dx. So I put a wall between myself and anyone I meet. And I go out of my way not to meet them in the first place.

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I mean I dont necessarily let people know im bipolar right off of the bat. But when I feel comfortable with the person, whether a friend or a romantic quest. I figure if the relationship is supposed to be, the other person will dismiss it. I have not had too many problems about telling people. Usually they start to notice it anyway. I'm bipolar dude.

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Guest Vapourware

Tits describes how I am sometimes. I just don't know if someone would want to be around me when I get depressed. Past experience has shown that not everyone does, because it's not enjoyable being around a depressed person. So that's one reason I don't have a lot of friends. I tend to keep to myself because I doubt that people would continue to contact me when I'm down.

I guess the only advice I have is to be selective in whom you associate.

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I think a lot my friends appreciate that I am not afraid to go to the dark places with them and they can be brutally honest with me because I've lived through some shit, I'm not very superficial or precious in that regard. It think sometimes it is comforting for them because society doesn't leave them much room for introspection or not fitting in. To have a friend you can let things hang out with a bit (not like, lose your shit) and be real with is refreshing. I'm someone who doesn't care what has happened in popular reality TV, it's not awkward if a friend cries in front of me, I've lived a varied and chaotic life so I have a lot I can talk about. Life has kicked my vulnerabilities a fair bit, so I'm not part of the popularity contest where we all have to fake having perfect lives and being happy all the time.

I think someone who has lived through failure and sort of made friends with it is the sort of friend people secretly want to have. Sane people, insane people, we're all afraid not to live up to expectation, to be able to spend the evening with someone who has no pretense of being any more successful than me is refreshing.

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