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And Latin as a trigger? Really? I have never heard that the declension of nouns could cause serious mental illness, before. I took 3 years of Latin in high school, and one semester in college, but I am pretty sure being bipolar had nothing to do with that. It's a chicken and egg thing.

I thought it might be wise to introduce myself, even though I'm more likely to just read here than post things.

I'm 18 and attend a high school in Bavaria, Germany (called Gymnasium over here). All in all, you have to imagine Bavaria like some kind of German Texas with lots of zealots and utterly conservative policians and who seem somehow detached from reality plus "awe before God" (verbatim!) as a primary meaning of school in our constiution. At least there's quite nothing here I can identify myself with. I've already received six years of psychotherapy in primary school and the first two years on high school as I've always been a bit emotionally labile. My parents stopped it after most of the old problems were gone. After the sixth grade you normally have to decide: Latin or French. The problem whith French is that you can't pass a Latin test called Latinum which you need for quite many unrelated things - even if you want theatre studies or non-European languages at university. Again, my parents thought it'd be best for me and I foolishly believed them even though I never wanted this crap as a subject. After all it broke my neck. I always feel like I have wasted 5 years of my life and cannot evade this feeling. I always was pretty open with my aversion to it which once caused the discipline leader to ask me to be a bit less open about it, because it affected my teachers general mood... Most classmates disliked Latin as well and about 90% dropped it as soon as they got their chance to.

Now, two years after I dropped this subject, German education somehow became my new Latin. Filled with incredibly meaningless and turgid texts such as Goethes Faust or Effi Briest which the majority of my classmates despise as well. This normally ends up with me starring the wall to make the lesson pass by. I also have mental meltdowns at school ~2 times per month as soon as this Latin thing makes my mood capsize and seizes my thoughts, it also made me loose confidence in my parents ability to make sound decisions.

Last but not least a few things make me anxious: Sharp objects such as needles, normally not very tragic, vaccinations are not a problem for me. My dentist told me that my wisdom teeth had to be extracted soon and I was lost in four days of panic attacks by the mere thought about it. I think the reason for this is an operation of an ingrown toenail which went perfectly well. My physician gave me Ibuprofen afterwards which made my stomach aching, improved NOTHING and I had three days of debilitating pain with nearly no sleep until he prescribed me Metamizole. Oh, physical education makes me somehow anxious - problem solved because I got a medical certificate from my pdoc.

I now got Paroxetine from my pdoc, in contrary to Sertraline it does not make me grind teeth, but the sexual side effects are too heavy. So, I stopped it even though I felt better after taking it for one week. I'll be in the Caucasus area for the next three weeks and my pdoc will be away afterwards -> 5 weeks until I'll get something else or something that tackles the side effects -.-

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Welcome, Simon. I'm glad you've registered as a member and I hope CB is helpful to you.

I loved Latin in high school, so I guess I must be weird.

Let us know if there is anything you don't understand, and please read the user agreement to avoid problems later on.

olga

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Welcome to CB.

It sounds like you have issues overall with a rather stifling education system compounded by living in Bavaria, which seem to have represented themselves in a hatred for Latin and the heavy prose of Goethe and Faust. Have you thought about returning to see a therapist? These seem like symptoms to me, not the real problem.

I hope you cope well until your pdoc returns. Perhaps find a therapist in the interim?

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Thanks for the warm welcomes! :)

@olga:

> I loved Latin in high school, so I guess I must be weird.

Most people who are older seem to be quite happy with it ;)

@Antigone:

> Have you thought about returning to see a therapist?

Yes, and I already got a referral. The problem is that most assigned marks the last weeks and I did not have enough time for it. Next school year the Abitur (the high-school diploma) is upcoming and this will also cause me to have little time. The problem is I do not want to change my opinion about things but only to ease the ways I cope with it; guess this is way harder... Aditionally, I fear that leaving school without getting the job I want (customs - not really interesting, but safe at least) will put me in a dark, deep hole I won't be able to escape :unsure:

I'll be away for next three weeks. Interestingly, 'larger' problems, such as being alone in a foreign country whoose language I do not speak and loosing my ATM card - it already happened to me once - or being somewhere where it is not that safe (e.g. Pridnestrovie, Kabardino-Balkaria and this year Nagorno-Karabakh) is rather unproblematic for me. It's far worse to meet people who are friendly, sociable and do not talk English or German. I once spent a wonderful day in Belarus along with three Ukrainian cyclists. After all I ended up crying because I wasted my youth with Latin.

> It sounds like you have issues overall with a rather stifling education system compounded by living in Bavaria

Mh, we did not move here, so I'm quite used to how things are here. I normally do not void any subject just because I don't like it. We are now enduring the fourth year of Hitler studies in history. It sucks. Of course this is tremdously important, but IMO one year is enough. On the other side, a vast majority of stundents I ask don't even know who Ceaucescu or Mobutu were. Most of our curriculum is stuck in the past, long time ago.

Another thing: I deceided for an English-language forum because a) I can improve my English skills b) words seem to be less emotionally contamined to me :)

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